Tag Archives: bachelorette fantasy league

May 19 2016
16 Comments
Episode REcaps: Season 12, Points: Season 20

Welcome to “The Bachelorette” Fantasy League, Season 12

Friends, Romans, countrymen and women! Lend me your ears and your chalices of wine! Welcome to what is sure to be another face-melting season of BachFantasy. If you’re new, allow us to roll out the red carpet. Thank you for joining us. Read more below about how to draft a winning team, what we award points for, and general rules of the game.

If you’re a grizzled vet who has played BachFantasy before and laughs heartily in the face of reality love, allow us to scooch a bit on the couch and make room for you. We’re so glad you’re back. How you doing, my babies? Do you want a snack? What you’ve been up to? Come in for a hug, ahhh, there we go. We missed you.

HOW OUR BACHELORETTE FANTASY LEAGUE WORKS

1) Gather your “Bachelorette”-loving friends and coworkers, and choose a League Commissioner. The Commissioner is responsible for tallying league members’ points each week and sharing the standings with the league.

2) Choose how your league is going to run your draft (read more on that below) and submit your contestant picks to your league commissioner.

3) Watch “The Bachelorette” every Monday night, beginning May 23 on ABC.

4) Visit this blog every Tuesday morning to see how each of your contestants scored. The league commissioner should add up the point totals for each team in order to figure out the weekly rankings. You can use our BachFantasy Scoring Template to keep track of your league members’ scores.

THE DRAFT

You have a few options when it comes to drafting your Bachelorette fantasy league team team of five contestants. Click here to read more about how to draft your team.

POINTS CATEGORIES

When picking contestants, you’re the team owner. So you do you. Crazies earn a lot of points (and they’re the very lifeblood of the show’s existence), but you’ll be most rewarded for picking contestants who go the distance. (You can read our opinions on this season’s drafting pool here.)

Points are divided into Phrases, Actions, and Roses. We’ve added a few new points categories this year during Ben’s season and a couple more for JoJo’s season; look for bolded points below to see the newbies. We post a new wildcard points category on Twitter every Monday before the episode airs, so be sure to follow us there for the latest info.

There will also be a mid-season draft after Episode 5 in which you’ll be able to add one player to your team if it’s no longer intact. Don’t worry about that for now; there will be more deets later. Onto the points!

Phrases

  • Talking about his parents’ relationship (5 points)
  • Mentioning his kid (5 points)
  • Mentioning a deceased loved one (10 points)
  • Mentioning a previous fiancee or wife (10 points)
  • Expressing fear of a date activity (10 points) NEW IN 2016
  • Discussing his virginity (15 points) NEW IN 2016
  • Saying “I’m not here to make friends” (20 points)
  • Saying “I’m falling for you” to the Bachelorette or “I’m falling for her” to the camera (20 points)
  • Saying “I love you” to the Bachelorette (30 points)
  • Telling the Bachelorette that someone in the house “is not here for the right reasons” (30 points)
  • Being told “I love you” by the Bachelorette (50 points) NEW IN 2016

Actions

  • Interrupting someone’s one-on-one time (5 points)
  • Bonus: using the phrase “steal [the Bachelorette] away” during said interruption (5 points)
  • Dancing (5 points)
  • Wearing a helmet (5 points)
  • Singing or playing an instrument for the Bachelor (5 points)
  • Hot tubbing (5 points)
  • Giving the Bachelorette a gift (5 points)
  • Going on a picnic (5 points)
    • Must be sitting on the ground
  • Wearing a costume or clothing native to another culture/country (5 points)
  • Attending a concert (10 points) NEW IN 2016
  • Riding in a helicopter (10 points)
  • Riding on a boat (10 points)
  • Kissing the Bachelorette on the lips (10 points)
  • Being apart of the “team” who wins alone time with the Bachelorette on a group date (15 points) NEW IN 2016
  • Appearing visibly drunk (15 points)
  • Meeting the Bachelorette’s family and/or friends (15 points)
  • Interrupting a rose ceremony to ask to speak with the Bachelorette alone (20 points) NEW IN 2016
  • Needing medical attention at any point (20 points)
  • Crying on camera (25 points)
    • Must actually see moisture fall. We’re sticklers on this. 
  • Having a secret girlfriend at home (25 points)
  • Having a body part blurred out any point (30 points)
    • Only for nudity; having your mouth blurred for profanity doesn’t count
  • Leaving the show early on his own accord (30 points)
  • Drafting the next Bachelor on your team (40 points)
  • Coming back to the show to beg for another chance (50 points)

Roses

  • Getting the First Impression Rose (35 points, only available first night)
  • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
  • Being selected to go on a one-on-one date (20 points)
  • Being selected to go on a two-on-one date (30 points) NEW IN 2016
  • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
  • Getting the rose on a group date (now worth 35 points) NEW IN 2016
  • Getting the rose on a two-on-one date (40 points)
  • Making it to Hometown Dates (50 points)
  • Accepting the Fantasy Suite (75 points)
  • Refusing the Fantasy Suite when the Bachelorette is game (-75 points)
  • Proposing or being proposed to (85 points) NEW IN 2016
  • Winning the Final Rose (100 points)

WILDCARD POINTS

Each week, we’ll announce the upcoming wildcard category for the week on Twitter (so follow us to see what it is). It will change weekly and is only awarded to one dude per episode. For example, one wildcard category might be: the first man to dance this week gets 20 points.

SCORING

We’ll score each episode for you and post each contestant’s scores every Tuesday morning. Be sure to check back every Tuesday to see how your teams are stacking up against one another. We’ll also be posting an episode recap for those of you just can’t get enough Bach.

Will you be joining us this season? Let us know your league or individual team name in the comments! (We heart puns.)

P.S. You can sign up to get an email every time we post by entering your email address in the widget at the very bottom of the page.

Did you know we’re on Facebook and also on Twitter? We live-tweet every episode, often while drinking wine and yelling at the TV. It’s a good time. Come tweet with us!

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May 17 2016
2 Comments
Episode REcaps: Season 12, Points: Season 12

Researching Your Picks: A Look at Season 12’s Drafting Pool

There are no hometowns listed in the cast bios, so we’re assuming it means all 26 of this season’s “Bachelorette” contestants were conceived and grown in a factory on no-man’s land. *rubs hands excitedly* Let’s dive right in.

Alex | age: 25 | U.S. Marine

  • Choice line from his bio: He’s not into the “whole booty dancing thing.” Fifty points to the guy who can get Alex to twerk on camera.
  • We need to hear more about: The time he Hulked out and ripped the door off a car that was on fire and rescued the driver. His favorite movies are also “Troy,” “Inglorious Basterds,” and “300.” We get it, Alex. You have a dick.
  • Draftability: 7/10

Ali | age: 27 | Bartender

  • Choice line from his bio: There is not one interesting thing in his bio but if you squint your eyes at his photo, he kind of looks like peak John Stamos.
  • We need to hear more about: How deep his fear of bugs is… PRANKS! PRANKS! PRANKS!

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  • Draftability:7/10

Brandon | age: 28 | Hipster

  • Choice line from his bio: Here we have our first whack Bachelor job: Hipster. And yet he has no tattoos, he describes himself as athletic, his favorite movie is Good Will Hunting, and he cites a Malcolm Gladwell book as his fav piece of literature. This is like calling my own Dad a hipster.
  • We need to hear more about: Where he parks his creepy van at night. Brandon wants to experience someone “from the inside out.” I get what he’s going for here, but he chose a pretty murdery way to describe that.
  • Draftability: 3/10

Chad | age: 28 | Luxury Real Estate Agent

  • Choice line from his bio: His answer to THREE different questions is: “myself in 10 years. Alright, alright, alright.” You’ve exhausted the joke, dude.

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  • We need to hear more about: His date that blacked out during dinner. I have a hunch I’d also try to blackout if I went out with Chad. This one may not be on her.
  • Draftability: 6/10

Chase | age: 27 | Medical Sales Rep

  • Choice line from his bio: His biggest fear is a girl falling in love with him…and he’s not that into it. 

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  • We need to hear more about: What the fuck is so special about his truck? That’s his limit in terms of what he’ll do for love? I say let’s vote Chase off now and see if we can get Meatloaf on the show.
  • Draftability: 8/10

Christian | age: 26 | Telecom Consultant

  • Choice line from his bio: His bucket list really runs the gamut. He wants to befriend Mark Cuban, take selfies in space, and spoil his grandchildren. That last one is the puzzler. Does he already have grandchildren…? If not, does he not want to spoil his own children first?
  • We need to hear more about: HULLO, his amateur stripping career. Willing to pay a generous bounty for any photo evidence of this.
  • Draftability: 6/10

Coley | age: 27 | Real Estate Consultant

  • Choice line from his bio: Hard to decide between his bucket list (#respect for those choices) or his book selection (Accio rose, amirite?).
  • We need to hear more about: The girl who tried to move in with him after a week of dating. Did she? C’mon, Coley, don’t leave us hanging.
  • Draftability: 5/10 – His bio is respectable, but his name is Coley. Sorry.

Derek | age: 29 | Commercial Banker

  • Choice line from his bio: If he were stranded on a desert island, the worst case scenario would be if there were a shitload of cucumbers on it. 

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Seriously, pick a more benign vegetable.

  • We need to hear more about: His penchant for skinny-dipping. We’re expecting some major “blurred out” points from Derek.  
  • Draftability: 8/10

Daniel | age: 31 | Male Model

  • Choice line from his bio: He doesn’t have any tattoos because “You don’t put stickers on a lambo.” He also assures us that he is comfortable wearing a bathing suit in public, because “why have a lambo if you keep it parked in the garage.” Daaaamn, Daniel. Back at it again with the bad metaphors.

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  • We need to hear more about: His Men’s Rights activism. I bet if we check his Twitter feed, there are all sorts of rants about girls who “tricked him” by looking better in their dating profile pictures.
  • Draftability: 8/10 – could definitely be the season villain

Evan | age: 33 | Erectile Dysfunction Expert

  • Choice line from his bio: Where do I start with this guy? He describes his sexual energy as “very powerful and beautiful.” Hide yo’ kids, hide yo’ wife. He also wants to be Trump for a day and he has a laundry list of dating dealbreakers, including “girls with chipped nail polish, girls who talk too much, narcissists, clingers, girls who have serious food allergies.” FOOD ALLERGIES? Way harsh, Tai.
  • We need to hear more about: His job – “Erectile Dysfunction Expert.” Did he go into the family business or…?
  • Draftability: 2/10

Grant | age: 27 | Firefighter

  • Choice line from his bio: His greatest achievement to date? “Saving a life.” Way to drop the freakin mic. Let’s be real, if I saw Grant approaching, I’d play dead. Resuscitate me, boi.
  • We need to hear more about: It’s a toss-up between the Mexican police chase and his ex slapping him in a bar. Maybe they’re connected?
  • Draftability: 9/10

Jake | age: 26 | Landscape Architect

  • Choice line from his bio: He’s not afraid of any animal, because humans are at the “top of the food chain.” You’re right, Jake, no human has ever been killed by an animal.
  • We need to hear more about: How he plans to help the people with his power of flight. If only there were humans out there getting killed by animals. I bet he could help them. If they existed.
  • Draftability: 5/10

James F. | age: 34 | Boxing Club Owner

  • Choice line from his bio: He likes when a book is so vivid that he can almost “smell their environment.” This is how people who don’t read books talk.
  • We need to hear more about: What the fuck is carb cycling? Before you answer, I’m pretty sure I want no part of it.
  • Draftability: 3/10 –  Real talk, I think James’ admission to the show was a clerical error.

James S. | age: 27 | Bachelor Superfan

  • Choice line from his bio: His job – apparently this joker is a “Bachelor Superfan.” Has Chris Harrison finally opened up an institution of higher education or is James self-taught?
  • We need to hear more about: His thoughts on “intimacy.” Does this mean a season of Duggar-style side hugs?

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  • Draftability: 4/10 – seems like a tool

James Taylor | age:  29 | Singer-Songwriter

  • Choice line from his bio: This guy, named JAMES TAYLOR, is a singer-songwriter. We know you’re not the real James Taylor.
  • We need to hear more about: Why he still refers to his dad as “daddy.” You’re 29, bro.
  • Draftability: 3/10

Jonathan | age: 29 | Technical Sales Rep

  • Choice line from his bio: If he could change places with anyone, he “would be someone incredibly poor in a third world country to see what it’s like and appreciate what [he has].” Poverty tourism—good answer.
  • We need to hear more about: Jonathan has a tattoo of his grandma on his arm. Like her name or a portrait of her?
  • Draftability: 3/10

Jordan | age: 27 | Former Pro Quarterback

  • Choice line from his bio: He hates it when his date “doesn’t want to eat in front of [him].” You’re speaking my love language, Jordan.
  • We need to hear more about: His job as a former pro quarterback. Which team? And for how long? Can we check his references? I’m detecting a faint odor of catfishing.
  • Draftability: 6/10

Luke | age: 31 | War Veteran

  • Choice line from his bio: We’ve got another hopeful bromance with Mark Cuban, folks. Lots of “Shark Tank” fans this season.
  • We need to hear more about: His status as a war veteran. Lots of military men in the house. Will this lead to tension or camaraderie? Find out after the commercial break.
  • Draftability: 4/10

Nick B. | age: 33 | Electrical Engineer

  • Choice line from his bio: If he could be anyone in the world for a day, he’d be “the woman [he] wants to marry so [he] could find out what’s in her head.”

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  • We need to hear more about: His favorite magazine, Ducks Unlimited. Is this a euphemism?
  • Draftability: 4/10

Nick S. | age: 26 | Software Salesman

  • Choice line from his bio: If he could have any job for a day, he would choose: “Don Draper? James Bond?” He didn’t understand the assignment.
  • We need to hear more about: The mountain lion he supposedly chased.

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  • Draftability: 5/10

Peter | age: 26 | Staffing Agency Manager

  • Choice line from his bio: Peter loves dinosaurs so much he’d time travel back to the Mesozoic Era to see ‘em. Did you see Jurassic Park, Pete? Didn’t work out so great for the humans.
  • We need to hear more about: That time he was a sk8er boi, she said see you later boy.
  • Draftability: 6/10

Robby | age: 27 | Former Competitive Swimmer

  • Choice line from his bio: He calls his favorite flower, the honeysuckle, “delicious.” “Robby, will you accept eat this honeysuckle?”
  • We need to hear more about: When asked to name his three best attributes, he includes “handsome.” Warning: narcissism alert.
  • Draftability: 7/10 – We think JoJo will be into it.

Sal | age: 28 | Operations Manager

  • Choice line from his bio: His worst case scenario on a desert island is a Kardashian. Fair enough, though I think it would depend which one. As long as there are no cucumbers, amirite?
  • We need to hear more about: His past career in vandalism. (He once egged a gym teacher’s house in high school.) Maybe he has a problem with authority. Watch yer back, Harrison.  
  • Draftability: 4/10

Vinny | age: 28 | Barber

  • Choice line from his bio: I actually LOLed when I read his response to what he won’t do for love. He would do anything for love, except use turkey meat. Don’t fuck with Vinny’s meatballs.
  • We need to hear more about: That time he “surprised his boys in Mexico” when he was 16. Real talk: I thought the question was “What’s the most romantic thing you’ve ever done?” instead of “What’s the most outrageous thing you’ve ever done?” At first I was like #respect.
  • Draftability: 6/10

Wells | age: 31 | Radio DJ

  • Choice line from his bio: Ok, his description of his perfect date IS kind of perfect. Admittedly, I stopped really reading after tacos (didn’t really need to hear more), but I think I saw something about wine and Otis Redding in there too. Call me, Wells.
  • We need to hear more about: Why he doesn’t like pizza. Why are you hurting us like this, Wells?
  • Draftability: 9/10

Will | age: 26 | Civil Engineer

  • Choice line from his bio: He hates it when his date talks about heavy stuff too soon. Good thing he’s not the Bachelor, since that show is basically just a race to see who can exploit their personal hardships for feigned sympathy and camera time. Let’s never forget Olivia’s cankles.
  • We need to hear more about: His dance moves. I want so badly to give him some points for Bernie-ing.  
  • Draftability: 8/10

 

Which prospect is looking the best to draft? Who’s your prediction for the season villain? Let us know in the comments.

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Jul 20 2015
3 Comments
Points: Season 11

Introducing Season 11’s “Men Tell All” Special Points Categories

Based on popular opinion from the last couple of seasons, we’re continuing to score the “Men Tell All” episode this year. It remains optional, so if you decide not to award these points in your league, no biggie. We’re hoping that this gives teams who aren’t doing as well a chance to catch up and make the finale even more exciting in your leagues.

Here’s what we’ll be scoring during the Men Tell All (in addition to the regular points):

  • Entering a guess as to which man will get the final rose (5 points)
  • Apologizing to another contestant (5 points)
  • Being featured on the Blooper Reel (5 points; available once per contestant)
  • Saying the word “bromance” (5 points)
  • Saying the name “Britt” (5 points)
  • Saying that he didn’t know Kaitlyn and Nick had been “intimate” (10 points)
  • Apologizing to Kaitlyn for his behavior on the show (10 points)
  • Speaking negatively about/toward Kaitlyn (10 points)
  • Mentioning a new romantic interest in his life (10 points)
  • Being accused of lying by another contestant (15 points)
  • Asking Kaitlyn why she got rid of him/what went wrong (15 points)
  • Admitting that feelings still remain for Kaitlyn (20 points)
  • Getting chosen for a one-on-one interview in the Hot Seat with Chris Harrison (25 points)
  • Getting chosen to go on Bachelor in Paradise (25 points)
    • Must be officially announced on the show 

No wildcard points for this episode. Good luck!

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Jul 13 2015
23 Comments
Points: Season 11

Season 11, Episode 9: Points

Soooo…calling it now: Ben H. is the next Bachelor, yeah? Like, get woke. He’s the most total package contestant this show has ever seen. The Men Tell All is next week; we’ll be scoring, so don’t you worry. Have any suggestions for special points categories? Leave ’em in the comments below.

Wildcard points: first man to go shirtless won 25 points. Obvi went to Shawn.

  • Ben H.: 110 points (stat correction)
    • Kissing the Bachelorette on the lips (10 points)
    • Going on a picnic (5 points)
    • Saying “I’m falling for you” to the Bachelorette or “I’m falling for her” to the camera (20 points)
    • Accepting the Fantasy Suite invitation (75 points)
  • Nick V.: 170 points (stat correction)
    • Kissing the Bachelorette on the lips (10 points)
    • Going on a picnic (5 points)
    • Saying “I’m falling for you” to the Bachelorette or “I’m falling for her” to the camera (20 points)
    • Saying “I love you” to the Bachelorette (30 points)
    • Dancing (5 points)
    • Crying on camera (25 points)
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
    • Making it to Hometown Dates (50 points)
  • Shawn B.: 295 points (stat correction)
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
    • Kissing the Bachelorette on the lips (10 points)
    • Saying “I’m falling for you” to the Bachelorette or “I’m falling for her” to the camera (20 points)
    • Accepting the Fantasy Suite invitation (75 points)
    • Wildcard points: first man to take his shirt off (25 points)
    • Having a body part blurred out (30 points)
    • Telling the Bachelorette someone in the house “isn’t here for the right reasons” (30 points)
    • Saying “I love you” to the Bachelorette (30 points)
    • Making it to Hometown Dates (50 points)

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Never miss a post! You can sign up to get an email every time we post by entering your email address in the widget at the very bottom of the page.

Did you know we’re on Facebook and also on Twitter? We live-tweet every episode, often while drinking and yelling at the TV. It’s a good time. Come tweet with us!

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Jul 09 2015
3 Comments
Episode Recaps: Season 11

Season 11, Episode 8: Highlight Reel

There are officially no rules left on this show. How many episodes are left? Whose families are we meeting? Are we ever going to see another rose ceremony or is Shawn going to murder-suicide the whole cast in a jealous rage and shut this thing down for good? I don’t have any of those answers for you. I do have a roundup of some of our favorite moments from episode eight though. Have at it.

Highlights from Episode 8:

  1. Shawn’s tomato face when Kaitlyn dropped the sex bomb on him. Shawn felt like the belle of the ball when Kaitlyn kicked everyone else off their group date and awarded him with some one-on-one time. He had no idea that he was about to have the wind knocked out of his sails in a big way, courtesy of Nick’s wiener.
  2. Shawn referring to Nick as “the other guy.” Grow up. He’s not Voldemort and jealousy ain’t cute.
  3. Ben H. being a motherfucking dreamboat. On their one-on-one date, Ben admits that he fears that he isn’t lovable. That is crazy talk, because I’m pretty sure I love him. Also, I wanna get familiar with his bathing suit parts, if you catch my drift.
  4. 3f391d11256cb849745667609ff6e76eJoe’s silent tantrum after Kaitlyn broke his little cowboy heart. I have to assume that there was more to their relationship than what we saw on camera, because by my estimation they spent a total of 6 1/2 minutes together and he claimed he was IN LOVE with her. Not falling. IN LOVE. We didn’t even get a limo exit interview…
  5. leslie-knope-tantrum-oThe return of Nick’s hairless chest. After Kaitlyn and Nick took a trip to Pound Town, we were treated to some morning after footage of them eating breakfast meats and pawing at each other.

What was your favorite moment from this week’s episode? Do you think Joe is still sulking somewhere in Ireland? What type of murder weapon do you think Shawn brought to Nick’s room? Sound off in the comments!

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Jul 07 2015
12 Comments
Points: Season 11

Season 11, Episode 8: Points

I’m putting this in writing: if Ben doesn’t win in the end, I’m moving back to Denver to find him and kiss his face and body and more.

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In other news, Shawn needs a yoga class or a Xanax (or both). Nick…whatever. I don’t even care. Here’s where we landed after episode 8:

  • Ben H.: 85 points (stat correction)
    • Kissing the Bachelorette on the lips (10 points)
    • Being selected to go on a one-on-one date (20 points)
    • Riding on a boat (10 points)
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
    • Saying “I’m falling for you” to the Bachelorette or “I’m falling for her” to the camera (20 points)
  • Jared: 45 points (stat correction)
    • Crying on camera (25 points)
    • Saying “I’m falling for you” to the Bachelorette or “I’m falling for her” to the camera (20 points)
  • Joe: 50 points (stat correction)
    • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
    • Kissing the Bachelorette on the lips (10 points)
    • Saying “I love you” to the Bachelorette (3o points)
      • Editor’s note: I had to rewind 4 times to hear him actually say that. Speak clearly, boy.
  • Nick V.: 150 points (stat correction)
    • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
    • Interrupting someone’s one-on-one time (5 points)
      • Editor’s note: Nick said “mind if I grab this lovely lady?,” not “steal her away.” No additional points.
    • Kissing the Bachelorette on the lips (10 points)
    • Talking about his parents’ relationship (5 points)
    • Saying “I’m falling for you” to the Bachelorette or “I’m falling for her” to the camera (20 points)
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
    • Accepting the Fantasy Suite invitation (75 points)
  • Shawn B.: 65 points
    • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
    • Kissing the Bachelorette on the lips (10 points)
    • Saying “I’m falling for you” to the Bachelorette or “I’m falling for her” to the camera (20 points)

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Never miss a post! You can sign up to get an email every time we post by entering your email address in the widget at the very bottom of the page.

Did you know we’re on Facebook and also on Twitter? We live-tweet every episode, often while drinking and yelling at the TV. It’s a good time. Come tweet with us!

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Jun 30 2015
21 Comments
Points: Season 11

Season 11, Episode 7: Points

Welp, this season we’ve got rose ceremonies at the beginning of every episode and Fantasy Suites happening BEFORE hometown dates.

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I never realized how much Chris Harrison resembles Plutarch of The Hunger Games, changing the rules in the Hunger Games arena when he knows Katnissaitlyn has outsmarted him.

You take some unauthorized off-camera time without asking? Oh, okay, we’re gonna GIVE YOU unauthorized camera time. Say goodbye to three dudes this week and march your ass into that Fantasy Suite, toots. It’s like when your mom catches you smoking a cigarette and makes you finish the whole pack in front of her.

Chris Harrison is your mom. Chris Harrison is Plutarch Heavensbee. This is Chris Harrison’s world, and we’re just living in it. Don’t you ever forget it.

Wildcard points would’ve gone to the first person who expressed a desire to go home, but alas, none did.

  • Ben H.: 35 points
    • Kissing the Bachelorette on the lips (10 points)
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
  • Ben Z.: 20 points (stat correction)
    • Kissing the Bachelorette on the lips (10 points)
    • Mentioning a deceased relative (10 points)
      • Editor’s note: He did ask to “steal [Kaitlyn] away” but he wasn’t interrupting someone’s one-on-one time so it doesn’t count
  • Chris: 95 points 
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
    • Being selected to go on a one-on-one date (20 points)
    • Kissing the Bachelorette on the lips (10 points)
    • Riding in a helicopter (10 points)
    • Going on a picnic (5 points)
    • Crying on camera (25 points)
      • Editor’s note: Whoa, dude. 
  • Jared: 30 points
    • Kissing the Bachelorette on the lips (10 points)
    • Saying “I’m falling for her” to the camera (20 points)
  • JJ: 50 points (stat correction)
    • Going on a picnic (5 points)
    • Mentioning a previous wife (10 points)
    • Mentioning his kid (5 points)
    • Riding on a boat (10 points)
    • Saying “I’m falling for you” to Kaitlyn (20 points)
  • Joe: 85 points (stat correction)
    • Getting the rose on a two-on-one date (40 points)
    • Kissing the Bachelorette on the lips (10 points)
    • Going on a picnic (5 points)
    • Telling the Bachelorette he’s falling in love with her (20 points)
    • Riding on a boat (10 points)
  • Nick V.: 35 points 
    • Kissing the Bachelorette on the lips (10 points)
    • Crying on camera (25 points)
  • Shawn B.: 55 points (stat correction) 
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
    • Kissing the Bachelorette on the lips (10 points)
    • Saying “I’m falling for her” to the camera (20 points)
  • Tanner: 0 points

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

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Jun 23 2015
19 Comments
Points: Season 11

Season 11, Episode 6: Points

Oooh lordy lordy. We made our wildcard points category “doing it with the Bachelorette” based solely off of last week’s coming attractions (double entendre there, folks) and the show delivered. Think we might have to add doin’ it into next year’s regular roto of points categories.

Also, you guys aren’t going to believe this but tornadoes in the Chicagoland area interrupted the Bachelorette AGAIN, albeit briefly. I think for less than five minutes total, but I still might’ve missed something, so please let me know if you think I did.

  • Ben H.: 15 points
    • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
    • Singing (5 points)
  • Ben Z.: 60 points
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
    • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
    • Singing (5 points)
    • Mentioning a deceased loved one (10 points)
    • Kissing the Bachelorette on the lips (10 points)
  • Chris: 45 points 
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
    • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
    • Singing (5 points)
    • Giving the Bachelorette a gift (a flower) (5 points)
  • Ian: 30 points
    • Leaving the show on his own accord (30 points)
  • Jared: 85 points
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
    • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
    • Kissing the Bachelorette on the lips (10 points)
    • Singing (5 points)
    • Getting the rose on the group date (30 points)
    • Dancing (5 points)
  • JJ: 25 points 
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
  • Joe: 25 points
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
  • Joshua: 25 points
    • Crying on camera (25 points)
  • Justin: 0 points 
  • Nick V.: 110 points (stat correction)
    • Being selected to go on a one-on-one date (20 points)
    • Kissing the Bachelorette on the lips (10 points)
    • Dancing (5 points)
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
    • Wildcard points: doing it with the Bachelorette (50 points)
  • Shawn B.: 25 points (stat correction)
    • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
    • Singing (5 points)
    • Kissing the Bachelorette on the lips (10 points)
  • Tanner: 40 points 
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
    • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
    • Singing (5 points)

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Never miss a post! You can sign up to get an email every time we post by entering your email address in the widget at the very bottom of the page.

Did you know we’re on Facebook and also on Twitter? We live-tweet every episode, often while drinking and yelling at the TV. It’s a good time. Come tweet with us!

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Jun 16 2015
22 Comments
Points: Season 11

Season 11, Episode 5: Points

Last night was pretty eventful in Chicago. The Blackhawks won the Stanley Cup and I lost the battle over the remote to my fiance. Thus, I watched the Bach pretty late, and much to my dismay, some of the episode’s DVRed broadcast was interrupted (briefly) by news coverage of the tornadoes/heavy thunderstorms in the area. I very well might’ve missed a point category or two. Thanks in advance for your patience today! (Much tired. Very sleep. Cannot snark.)

No one received the wildcard points last night; they would’ve gone to the first person who said they needed one-on-one time before the rose ceremony, but there was only one strange, faux-ceremony on a baseball diamond last night so we were screwed. We’ll make next week’s points worth some weight to make up for it.

Onto the points!

  • Ben H.: 85 points
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
    • Being selected to go on a one-on-one date (20 points)
    • Dancing (5 points)
    • Kissing the Bachelorette on the lips (10 points)
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
  • Ben Z.: 40 points
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
    • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
    • Wearing a costume or clothing native to another culture/country (5 points)
  • Chris: 25 points 
    • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
    • Wearing a costume or clothing native to another culture/country (5 points)
    • Kissing the Bachelorette on the lips (10 points)
      • Editor’s note: This was tricky but there was one shot of her kissing a man in a maroon jacket that matched what Chris was wearing last night.
  • Corey: 0 points 
  • Ian: 50 points
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
    • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
    • Wearing a costume or clothing native to another culture/country (5 points)
    • Singing (5 points)
    • Dancing (5 points)
  • Jared: 55 points
    • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
    • Wearing a costume or clothing native to another culture/country (5 points)
    • Singing (5 points)
    • Dancing (5 points)
    • Kissing the Bachelorette on the lips (10 points)
    • Saying “I’m falling in love with you” to the Bachelorette (20 points)
  • JJ: 45 points 
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
    • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
    • Wearing a costume or clothing native to another culture/country (5 points)
    • Singing (5 points)
  • Joe: 55 points
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
    • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
    • Wearing a costume or clothing native to another culture/country (5 points)
    • Singing (5 points)
    • Kissing the Bachelorette on the lips (10 points)
  • Jonathan: 5 points (stat correction)
    • Mentioning his son (5 points)
  • Joshua: 70 points
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
    • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
    • Wearing a costume or clothing native to another culture/country (5 points)
    • Singing (5 points)
    • Crying on camera (25 points)
  • Justin: 25 points 
    • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
    • Wearing a costume or clothing native to another culture/country (5 points)
    • Singing (5 points)
    • Dancing (5 points)
  • Nick V.: 115 points 
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
    • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
    • Wearing a costume or clothing native to another culture/country (5 points)
    • Singing (5 points)
    • Saying “I love you” to the Bachelorette (30 points)
    • Kissing the Bachelorette on the lips (10 points)
    • Getting the rose on the group date (30 points)
  • Ryan B.: 0 points
  • Shawn B.: 115 points 
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
    • Being selected to go on a one-on-one date (20 points)
    • Kissing the Bachelorette on the lips (10 points)
    • Riding on a boat (10 points)
    • Going on a picnic (5 points)
    • Saying “I’m falling for you” to the Bachelorette (20 points)
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
  • Tanner: 40 points 
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
    • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
    • Wearing a costume or clothing native to another culture/country (5 points)

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

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Did you know we’re on Facebook and also on Twitter? We live-tweet every episode, often while drinking and yelling at the TV. It’s a good time. Come tweet with us!

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Jun 09 2015
26 Comments
Points: Season 11

Season 11, Episode 4: Points

One villain exits stage left, another enters stage right. We bid adieu to Clint but Nick Viall (of Andi Dorfman’s season) weaseled his way onto yet another season of “The Bachelorette.” I personally get strange vibes from him and I did not care one iota for his airing of, ahem, private matters on the “Women Tell All” two seasons ago.

A lot of you inquired about drafting Nick V. We will score him for those leagues who did indeed draft him early in the season. If your league didn’t draft him (and you’re wishing you did), we decided this was a fair rule: you can draft Nick onto your individual team, but only if you drop two of your players that are still on the show. (Obviously, talk to your league commissioner and decide as a league how you want to proceed.)

Personally, in our league, we’re happy to watch the Nick V. circus without participating, so don’t feel like someone in your league has to draft him.

This week saw the first usage of another new points category this year: riding on a boat (10 points).

Wildcard points went to Tanner, who was overtly negative about his feelings toward Nick V. Jonathan mentioned something about Nick V. being a “dark cloud” but immediately after that, Tanner took the shit-talk to the next level, and that’s the kind of commitment we were looking for.

Onto the points!

  • Ben H.: 20 points
    • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
    • Dancing (5 points)
    • Singing (5 points)
  • Ben Z.: 25 points
    • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
    • Singing (5 points)
    • Riding on a boat (10 points)
  • Chris: 65 points 
    • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
    • Dancing (5 points)
    • Singing (5 points)
    • Wearing a costume/clothing native to another country (5 points)
    • Kissing the Bachelorette on the lips (10 points)
    • Getting the rose on a group date (30 points)
  • Clint: 0 points
  • Corey: 30 points (stat correction)
    • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
    • Dancing (5 points)
    • Singing (5 points)
    • Riding on a boat (10 points)
  • Ian: 20 points
    • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
    • Dancing (5 points)
    • Singing (5 points)
  • Jared: 85 points
    • Being selected to go on a one-on-one date (20 points)
    • Riding in a helicopter (10 points)
    • Kissing the Bachelorette on the lips (10 points)
    • Saying “I’m falling for her” to the camera (20 points)
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
  • JJ: 50 points 
    • Crying on camera (25 points)
    • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
    • Singing (5 points)
    • Riding on a boat (10 points)
  • Joe: 20 points
    • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
    • Singing (5 points)
    • Dancing (5 points)
  • Jonathan: 25 points 
    • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
    • Singing (5 points)
    • Riding on a boat (10 points)
  • Joshua: 20 points
    • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
    • Dancing (5 points)
    • Singing (5 points)
  • Justin: 55 points 
    • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
    • Singing (5 points)
    • Getting the rose on the group date (30 points)
    • Riding on a boat (10 points)
  • Nick V.: 10 points (stat correction)
    • Kissing the Bachelorette on the lips (10 points)
  • Ryan B.: 25 points
    • Being selected go to on a group date (10 points)
    • Singing (5 points)
    • Riding on a boat (10 points)
  • Shawn B.: 25 points 
    • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
    • Singing (5 points)
    • Riding on a boat (10 points)
  • Tanner: 45 points 
    • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
    • Singing (5 points)
    • Riding on a boat (10 points)
    • Wildcard points: first to say something overtly negative about JJ (20 points)

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Never miss a post! You can sign up to get an email every time we post by entering your email address in the widget at the very bottom of the page.

Did you know we’re on Facebook and also on Twitter? We live-tweet every episode, often while drinking and yelling at the TV. It’s a good time. Come tweet with us!

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