Think of this as the SportsCenter Top 10, only sluttier. Here is Season 11, Episode 2’s highlight reel:
- When we briefly glimpsed what it’d be like to live in ancient Rome and attend gladiator games (if the gladiators wore pastels, loafers, and rope-like statement necklaces).
- The underwater photo shoot. Stop trying to make underwater photo shoots happen. They’re not going to happen.
- The pure existence of Amy Schumer.
- When Amy Schumer had JJ pegged within three minutes of meeting him: “JJ is a great guy. He just lacks charisma, humility, and a sense of humor.” Can she be on all the shows? Let’s overthrow Chris Harrison.
- The men performed “stand-up comedy.” That’s really all you need to know.They gave it the ol’ college try, though Tony took a detour through the universe and used his five minutes to wax poetic about the meaning of comedy in the larger context of his life. Classic knee-slapper material.
- The prank the boys played on Justin, sending him out to the driveway to check for the mysterious “knocking” noise.Well played, gentlemen. More pranks.
- When JJ revealed himself as an early villain by being the first man at the rose ceremony to pull Kaitlyn aside DESPITE him already having a rose and DESPITE the fact the entire mansion agreed that men with roses would defer to those without. They even spit and shook on it. JJ ruffled Tony the Healer’s chakras —and Tony seems like the type of dude who’d find you in another lifetime (whether you’re reincarnated humans or donkeys) and claim you had some negative energy to sort out between the two of you.
- Kupah fumbled his way through a conversation to tell Kaitlyn he didn’t know if they had a connection, but also make a case for why he should get a rose? It was the conversational equivalent of this:
Just imagine him yelling: “But you’re pretty and hot and sexy!” as his shoes fly off, and it’s the same.