Season 13, Episode 5: Points

A few hot takes from last night’s episode that I just have to get off my chest:

  • I’m going to make my new ringtone Kenny stage-whispering to Lee: “You’re a BITCH!”
  • The kiss between Jack Stone and Rachel:

giphy.gif

  • The Norwegian handball coach saying, “Handball is life” without a hint of irony was a top quote of the evening.
  • Rachel is FEELING Peter and so. are. we. Dayum. Have some cutie little gap-toothed babies already!
  • One of the clearest signs that Lee is a red flag of a human being (as if the racist tweets and highly punchable face weren’t enough)? The fact that he weight-lifts in cowboy boots and jeans. What. On. God’s. Green. Earth.

Okay, let’s get down to business. No wildcard points awarded last night. There will be wildcard points for tomorrow, however. Stay tuned.

A note: typically we do the Mid-Season Draft between Episode 5 and 6, but this season, we’re doing it AFTER Episode 6 (before Episode 7) because we can’t possibly expect all of our leagues to get that shiz ready within 24 hours. We haven’t been training for back-to-back Bachelorette viewings. We’re wheezing on the steps. We’re out of breath. So look for more information on the Mid-Season Draft coming later this week.

  • Adam: 35 points
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
    • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
  • Alex: 45 points
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
    • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
    • Kissing the Bachelorette on the lips (10 points)
  • Anthony: 35 points
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
    • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
  • Bryan: 110 points (STAT CORRECTION)
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
    • Kissing the Bachelorette on the lips (10 points)
    • Getting the rose on a group date (35 points)
    • Being selected to go on a one-on-one date (20 points)
    • Saying “I’m falling in love with you” to her (20 points)
  • Dean: 10 points
    • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
  • Eric: 45 points 
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
    • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
    • Kissing the Bachelorette on the lips (10 points)
  • Iggy: 25 points
    • Crying on camera (25 points)
  • Jack Stone: 35 points
    • Being selected to go on a one-on-one date (20 points)
    • Dancing (5 points)
    • Kissing the Bachelorette on the lips (10 points)
      • Note: he said he could see himself falling in love, not that he was falling in love. Ergo, no points!
  • Jonathan: 0 points
  • Josiah: 50  points
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
    • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
    • Talking about his parents’ relationship (5 points)
    • Kissing the Bachelorette on the lips (10 points)
  • Kenny: 115 points
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
    • Being selected to go on a two-on-one date (30 points)
    • Mentioning his kid (5 points)
    • Crying on camera (25 points)
    • Riding in a helicopter (10 points)
    • Talking shit to the Bachelorette about another contestant in the house, by name (20 points)
  • Lee: 85 points
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
    • Being selected to go on a two-on-one date (30 points)
    • Riding in a helicopter (10 points)
    • Talking shit to the Bachelorette about another contestant in the house, by name (20 points)
  • Matt: 40 points
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
    • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
    • Giving the Bachelorette a gift (5 points)
  • Peter: 50 points 
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
    • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
    • Kissing the Bachelorette on the lips (10 points)
    • Hot tubbing (5 points)
  • Will: 80 points
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
    • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
    • Kissing the Bachelorette on the lips (10 points)
    • Getting the rose on a group date (35 points)

Did you know we’re on Twitter? We live-tweet every episode, often while drinking wine and yelling at the TV. It’s a good time. Come tweet with us!

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8 thoughts on “Season 13, Episode 5: Points

  1. Melanie says:

    Happy Tuesday! I think Bryan deserves 25 more points for getting a rose on his one on one to stay another week.

    Thank you! Enjoy your double dose of Bachelorette this week.

    P.S. The Chandler Phoebe analogy is really so SPOT ON. I couldn’t even watch the date it was so awkward.

    • Bach Fantasy says:

      I think you are right! He needs the points for the rose ceremony in the beginning plus his group date rose. Thanks!

      I was literally squirming in my seat watching the Jack Stone date. I covered my eyes at one point.

  2. Sara says:

    Did you guys see this gem?

    From an Atlanta ABC affiliate, we had someone in our league see it live but this is the best capture of it I’ve seen online.

    • Bach Fantasy says:

      I AM DYING. I kept trying to get a shot of him with that face alone, but it is infinitely better with the chyron underneath. Wow. Thank you.

  3. Kerilyn says:

    Did anyone else question if Dean knows how to wear a jock strap or was that just me?

  4. Danielle says:

    Should Bryan get 5 points for wearimg a helmet?

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