Bach Fantasy

A few hot takes from last night’s episode that I just have to get off my chest:

• I’m going to make my new ringtone Kenny stage-whispering to Lee: “You’re a BITCH!”
• The kiss between Jack Stone and Rachel:

• The Norwegian handball coach saying, “Handball is life” without a hint of irony was a top quote of the evening.
• Rachel is FEELING Peter and so. are. we. Dayum. Have some cutie little gap-toothed babies already!
• One of the clearest signs that Lee is a red flag of a human being (as if the racist tweets and highly punchable face weren’t enough)? The fact that he weight-lifts in cowboy boots and jeans. What. On. God’s. Green. Earth.

Okay, let’s get down to business. No wildcard points awarded last night. There will be wildcard points for tomorrow, however. Stay tuned.

A note: typically we do the Mid-Season Draft between Episode 5 and 6, but this season, we’re doing it AFTER Episode 6 (before Episode 7) because we can’t possibly expect all of our leagues to get that shiz ready within 24 hours. We haven’t been training for back-to-back Bachelorette viewings. We’re wheezing on the steps. We’re out of breath. So look for more information on the Mid-Season Draft coming later this week.

• Adam: 35 points
  • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
  • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
• Alex: 45 points
  • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
  • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
  • Kissing the Bachelorette on the lips (10 points)
• Anthony: 35 points
  • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
  • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
• Bryan: 110 points (STAT CORRECTION)
  • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
  • Kissing the Bachelorette on the lips (10 points)
  • Getting the rose on a group date (35 points)
  • Being selected to go on a one-on-one date (20 points)
  • Saying “I’m falling in love with you” to her (20 points)
• Dean: 10 points
  • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
• Eric: 45 points 
  • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
  • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
  • Kissing the Bachelorette on the lips (10 points)
• Iggy: 25 points
  • Crying on camera (25 points)
• Jack Stone: 35 points
  • Being selected to go on a one-on-one date (20 points)
  • Dancing (5 points)
  • Kissing the Bachelorette on the lips (10 points)
    • Note: he said he could see himself falling in love, not that he was falling in love. Ergo, no points!
• Jonathan: 0 points
• Josiah: 50  points
  • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
  • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
  • Talking about his parents’ relationship (5 points)
  • Kissing the Bachelorette on the lips (10 points)
• Kenny: 115 points
  • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
  • Being selected to go on a two-on-one date (30 points)
  • Mentioning his kid (5 points)
  • Crying on camera (25 points)
  • Riding in a helicopter (10 points)
  • Talking shit to the Bachelorette about another contestant in the house, by name (20 points)
• Lee: 85 points
  • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
  • Being selected to go on a two-on-one date (30 points)
  • Riding in a helicopter (10 points)
  • Talking shit to the Bachelorette about another contestant in the house, by name (20 points)
• Matt: 40 points
  • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
  • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
  • Giving the Bachelorette a gift (5 points)
• Peter: 50 points 
  • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
  • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
  • Kissing the Bachelorette on the lips (10 points)
  • Hot tubbing (5 points)
• Will: 80 points
  • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
  • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
  • Kissing the Bachelorette on the lips (10 points)
  • Getting the rose on a group date (35 points)

Did you know we’re on Twitter? We live-tweet every episode, often while drinking wine and yelling at the TV. It’s a good time. Come tweet with us!

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