Bach Fantasy

Good thing we don’t deduct points for not knowing if a state is horizontal or vertical. Headdesk. Also, can you IMAGINE running on the treadmill and having your crush (who you’ve spent a total of four minutes around) proceed to tell you that you smell SOUR?

This week’s wildcard points (15 to the first lady to be bleeped for swearing) went to Lauren H. who complained during the group date with an expletive not suited for the wee kindergartners she teaches. FYI, we post our wildcard points on Twitter at 5 p.m. CST before the show airs; follow us @BachFantasy. We usually post a poll earlier in the day so you can vote on what you want the category to be. Twitter: we’re having fun, come join us.

A quick note about Crying on Camera, if you don’t mind, since we’ve been getting a lot of comments and tweets about it. Because Crying on Camera is worth a meaty 25 points, we demand we see some moisture exit the eyeball area and land on the lower lid/cheekbone/cheek (I like to imagine myself as a football ref during these scenes, blowing the whistle around my neck and yelling jauntily: “The ruling on the field…”) One does not simply procure a mass of 25 points for a little eye-welling-up action. You’ll see that reflected below. I humbly thank thee.

• Amanda: 85 points
  • Mentioning her kid(s) (5 points)
  • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
  • Interrupting someone’s one-on-one time (5 points)
  • Using the phrase “steal him away” during said interruption (5 points)
  • Kissing the Bachelor on the lips (10 points)
  • Crying on camera (25 points)
  • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
• Amber: 35 points
  • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
  • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
• Becca: 35 points
  • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
  • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
• Caila: 75 points
  • Being selected to go on a one-on-one date (20 points)
  • Hot tubbing (5 points)
  • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
  • Attending a concert (10 points)
  • Dancing (5 points)
  • Kissing the Bachelor on the lips (10 points)
• Emily: 35 points
  • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
  • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
• Haley: 35 points
  • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
  • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
• Jackie: 10 points
  • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
• Jami: 25 points
  • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
• Jennifer: 45 points
  • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
  • Kissing the Bachelor on the lips (10 points)
  • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
• JoJo: 50 points
  • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
  • Kissing the Bachelor on the lips (10 points)
  • Getting the rose on a group date (30 points)
• Jubilee: 50 points
  • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
  • Interrupting someone’s one-on-one time (5 points)
  • Kissing the Bachelor on the lips (10 points)
  • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
• Lace: 70 points
  • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
  • Interrupting someone’s one-on-one time (5 points)
  • Using the phrase “steal him away” during said interruption (5 points)
  • Crying on camera (25 points)
  • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
• Lauren LB: 65 points [UPDATED]
  • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
  • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
  • Leaving the show early on her accord (30 points)
• Lauren B.: 30 points
  • Interrupting someone’s one-on-one time (5 points)
  • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
• Lauren H.: 50 points
  • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
  • Wildcard points: first to be bleeped for swearing (15 points)
  • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
• Leah: 25 points
  • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
• Mandi: 10 points
  • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
• Olivia: 60 points
  • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
  • Kissing the Bachelor on the lips (10 points)
  • Getting the rose on a group date (30 points)
  • Interrupting someone’s one-on-one time (5 points)
  • Using the phrase “steal him away” during said interruption (5 points)
• Rachel: 25 points
  • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
• Samantha: 10 points
  • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
• Shushanna: 35 points
  • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
  • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)

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