Class is in session, everyone. Sharpen your pencils, bust out your Trapper Keeper. This crew of dudes is here and ready to teach us a whole lot about love and Formula 1 racing (I literally don’t know what that is). You may recall a number of the lessons we learned last season. For the brochachos competing for Andi’s heart, the most important lesson was: don’t you dare mutter the words “It’s ok.” Seriously. Not even as a joke.
Let’s review what we’ve learned so far:
- Hotels are pretty lax about their lamp security. Brett the Haircut stepped out of the limo holding a generic looking floor lamp, which he proudly gifted to Andi, and confirmed he swiped from the hotel. #swoon
- It’s hard out there for a man with a blonde bob. Andi wasn’t feeling it. Next time try a distractingly large diamond earring, Dr. Jason.
- Bring. Cookies. Hello, why has no one done this before? Marquel won the episode when he showed up to his one-on-one time with Andi with a full platter of cookies. Marquel – 1 Every other human male – 0
- If your name rhymes with Anal, dating can be tough. There’s not much else to say about that one.
- Sometimes moderate to severe stalking doesn’t pay off. Chris Bukowski, who has never met Andi before, set up camp at the Bachelor mansion for a whole fucking week waiting for his chance to talk to the pretty girl he saw on TV. It didn’t work.
At least Juan Pablo is nowhere in sight,