Bach Fantasy

You know ABC couldn’t be more thrilled about fudging with the time-tested Bachelorette formula and making Kaitlyn send three dudes home in one week. Fantasy Suites BEFORE hometown dates? Anything goes, man.

They keep teasing the part next week when Kaitlyn drops some hot gos on The Gos (Shawn B. aka Ryan Gosling) and reveals to the squad that she slept with Nick V.

This is gonna be us at home:

Five Highlights From Episode 6:

1). Nick V. rocking his claddagh ring like every girl in the 7th grade with even one drop of Irish blood. You just know that curly-headed dipshit gets his rocks off pretending to be married to Kaitlyn around the other guys. Dollars to donuts he’s flashing that thing around the hotel suite and hoping someone asks him what it signifies.

2). When Chris Harrison obviously knew Kaitlyn slept with Nick, and Kaitlyn knew HE knew, but Ol’ Chris wanted to make her squirm. He was all, “Mmm? And what exactly happened in the hotel room?” He could be a Gitmo interrogator when this gig ends.

3). At the rose ceremony, when Shawn B. was like, “Oh I definitely know what ‘mistake’ Kaitlyn was referencing—she snuck into my room and she told me I was her number one.” Wellllll, hang tight there, little buddy. Just haaaang tight. We’ll see what mistake she’s talking about in good time…

4). The return of the chopper! There are few things more classically vintage Bach than cavorting around an exotic locale in a helicopter. (Being scared to rappel down a wall and making out in the hot tub are two equally classic vintage Bach moves).

5). Chris “Cupcake” dropping down to the fetal position when his ass got booted mere feet from the Cliffs of Moher. Sorry, Dentist, but that’s how we all feel in your torture chair at the dentist’s office. ‘Bout time these tables got turned.

Are you glad we’re back doing Highlight Reels? Do you want us to make them a priority every week? Is there intelligent life on other planets? Sound off in the comments.