Tag Archives: Bachelorette

Jun 27 2017
11 Comments
Points: Season 13

Season 13, Episode 5: Points

A few hot takes from last night’s episode that I just have to get off my chest:

  • I’m going to make my new ringtone Kenny stage-whispering to Lee: “You’re a BITCH!”
  • The kiss between Jack Stone and Rachel:

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  • The Norwegian handball coach saying, “Handball is life” without a hint of irony was a top quote of the evening.
  • Rachel is FEELING Peter and so. are. we. Dayum. Have some cutie little gap-toothed babies already!
  • One of the clearest signs that Lee is a red flag of a human being (as if the racist tweets and highly punchable face weren’t enough)? The fact that he weight-lifts in cowboy boots and jeans. What. On. God’s. Green. Earth.

Okay, let’s get down to business. No wildcard points awarded last night. There will be wildcard points for tomorrow, however. Stay tuned.

A note: typically we do the Mid-Season Draft between Episode 5 and 6, but this season, we’re doing it AFTER Episode 6 (before Episode 7) because we can’t possibly expect all of our leagues to get that shiz ready within 24 hours. We haven’t been training for back-to-back Bachelorette viewings. We’re wheezing on the steps. We’re out of breath. So look for more information on the Mid-Season Draft coming later this week.

  • Adam: 35 points
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
    • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
  • Alex: 45 points
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
    • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
    • Kissing the Bachelorette on the lips (10 points)
  • Anthony: 35 points
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
    • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
  • Bryan: 110 points (STAT CORRECTION)
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
    • Kissing the Bachelorette on the lips (10 points)
    • Getting the rose on a group date (35 points)
    • Being selected to go on a one-on-one date (20 points)
    • Saying “I’m falling in love with you” to her (20 points)
  • Dean: 10 points
    • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
  • Eric: 45 points 
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
    • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
    • Kissing the Bachelorette on the lips (10 points)
  • Iggy: 25 points
    • Crying on camera (25 points)
  • Jack Stone: 35 points
    • Being selected to go on a one-on-one date (20 points)
    • Dancing (5 points)
    • Kissing the Bachelorette on the lips (10 points)
      • Note: he said he could see himself falling in love, not that he was falling in love. Ergo, no points!
  • Jonathan: 0 points
  • Josiah: 50  points
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
    • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
    • Talking about his parents’ relationship (5 points)
    • Kissing the Bachelorette on the lips (10 points)
  • Kenny: 115 points
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
    • Being selected to go on a two-on-one date (30 points)
    • Mentioning his kid (5 points)
    • Crying on camera (25 points)
    • Riding in a helicopter (10 points)
    • Talking shit to the Bachelorette about another contestant in the house, by name (20 points)
  • Lee: 85 points
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
    • Being selected to go on a two-on-one date (30 points)
    • Riding in a helicopter (10 points)
    • Talking shit to the Bachelorette about another contestant in the house, by name (20 points)
  • Matt: 40 points
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
    • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
    • Giving the Bachelorette a gift (5 points)
  • Peter: 50 points 
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
    • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
    • Kissing the Bachelorette on the lips (10 points)
    • Hot tubbing (5 points)
  • Will: 80 points
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
    • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
    • Kissing the Bachelorette on the lips (10 points)
    • Getting the rose on a group date (35 points)

Did you know we’re on Twitter? We live-tweet every episode, often while drinking wine and yelling at the TV. It’s a good time. Come tweet with us!

P.S. You can sign up to get an email every time we post by entering your email address in the widget at the very bottom of the page.

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Jun 20 2017
25 Comments
Points: Season 13

Season 13, Episode 4: Points

Getting right to the points today! Wildcard points would’ve gone to the first dude to fix his hair (presumably before a date) but we didn’t see anyone doing it, so no puntos.

  • Adam: 55 points
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
    • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
    • Riding on a boat (10 points)
    • Expressing fear of a date activity (10 points)
  • Alex: 20 points
    • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
    • Riding on a boat (10 points)
  • Anthony: 20 points
    • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
    • Riding on a boat (10 points)
  • Brady: 0 points
  • Bryan: 60 points
    • Kissing the Bachelorette on the lips (10 points)
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
    • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
    • Riding on a boat (10 points)
    • Interrupting someone’s on-on-one time (5 points)
  • Bryce: 0 points
  • Dean: 165 points
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
    • Being selected to go on a one-on-one date (20 points)
    • Expressing fear of a date activity (10 points)
    • Kissing the Bachelorette on the lips (10 points)
    • Talking about his parents’ relationship (5 points)
    • Mentioning a deceased loved one (10 points)
    • Crying on camera (25 points)
    • Attending a concert (10 points)
    • Dancing (5 points)
    • Saying I’m “falling in love with her” to the camera (20 points)
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
  • Diggy: 0 points
  • Eric: 35 points 
    • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
    • Riding on a boat (10 points)
    • Dancing (5 points)
    • Kissing the Bachelorette on the lips (10 points)
  • Iggy: 70 points
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
    • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
    • Riding on a boat (10 points)
    • Dancing (5 points)
    • Talking shit to the Bachelorette about another contestant in the house, by name (20 points)
  • Jack Stone: 25 points
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
  • Jonathan: 50 points
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
    • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
    • Riding on a boat (10 points)
    • Dancing (5 points)
  • Josiah: 50 points
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
    • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
    • Riding on a boat (10 points)
    • Dancing (5 points)
  • Kenny: 70 points
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
    • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
    • Riding on a boat (10 points)
    • Singing for the Bachelorette (5 points)
    • Talking shit to the Bachelorette about another contestant in the house, by name (20 points)
  • Lee: 120 points
    • Saying “I’m not here to make friends” (15 points)
    • Interrupting someone’s one-on-one time (5 points)
    • Mentioning a deceased loved one (10 points)
    • Giving the Bachelorette a gift (5 points)
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
    • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
    • Riding on a boat (10 points)
    • Dancing (5 points)
    • Talking shit to the Bachelorette about another contestant in the house, by name (20 points)
    • Appearing visibly drunk (15 points)
  • Matt: 45 points
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
    • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
    • Riding on a boat (10 points)
  • Peter: 65 points 
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
    • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
    • Riding on a boat (10 points)
    • Dancing (5 points)
    • Singing for the Bachelorette (5 points)
    • Kissing the Bachelorette on the lips (10 points)
  • Will: 50 points
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
    • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
    • Riding on a boat (10 points)
    • Dancing (5 points)

Did you know we’re on Twitter? We live-tweet every episode, often while drinking wine and yelling at the TV. It’s a good time. Come tweet with us!

P.S. You can sign up to get an email every time we post by entering your email address in the widget at the very bottom of the page.

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May 23 2017
24 Comments
Points: Season 13

Season 13, Episode 1: Points

Welcome, welcome as we kick off Season 13 of “The Bachelorette.” How did your team handle the first Purge? I’m already one man down and nervous about my chances this season.

Oprah This is Not Good

Reminder that we announce our wildcard points category each Monday before the show starts on Twitter. Follow us there to see what it is. (And come live-tweet with us! There are gifs and snark a-plenty to make it worth your while.)

Wildcard points: 15 points went to the first guy to arrive in anything but a limo. Those went to Blake E., who arrived in the middle of a marching band, presumably because he is an “aspiring drummer.” It seems like he is aspiring to be the house tattletale, which will likely be his demise. Gotta get fluent in Bachelorese before you go on this show, Blakey boy.

Onto the points!

  • Adam: 25 points
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
  • Alex: 35 points
    • Talking about his parents’ relationship (5 points)
    • Interrupting someone’s one-on-one time (5 points)
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
  • Anthony: 25 points
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
  • Blake E.: 45 points – STAT CORRECTION
    • Wildcard points (15 points)
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
    • Singing or playing an instrument for the Bachelorette (5 points)
  • Blake K: 0 points
  • Brady: 25 points
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
  • Bryan: 50 points – STAT CORRECTION
    • Kissing the Bachelorette on the lips (10 points)
    • Getting the First Impression Rose (35 points)
    • Interrupting someone’s one-on-one time (5 points)
  • Bryce: 30 points
    • Interrupting someone’s one-on-one time (5 points)
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
  • Dean: 30 points
    • Giving the Bachelorette a gift (sandcastle equipment) (5 points)
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
  • DeMario: 35 points
    • Singing or playing an instrument for the Bachelorette (5 points)
    • Dancing (5 points)
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
  • Diggy: 30 points
    • Dancing (5 points)
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
  • Eric: 30 points
    • Dancing (5 points)
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
  • Fred: 25 points
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
  • Grant: 0 points
  • Iggy: 30 points
    • Interrupting someone’s one-on-one time (5 points)
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
  • Jack Stone: 35 points
    • Mentioning a deceased loved one (10 points)
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
  • Jamey: 30 points
    • Interrupting someone’s one-on-one time (5 points)
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
  • Jedidiah: 0 points
  • Jonathan: 30 points
    • Interrupting someone’s one-on-one time (5 points)
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
  • Josiah: 35 points
    • Mentioning a deceased loved one (10 points)
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
  • Kenny: 35 points
    • Mentioning his kid (5 points)
    • Dancing (5 points)
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
  • Kyle: 5 points
    • Giving the Bachelorette a gift (Jamaican buns, I think he said?) (5 points)
  • Lee: 40 points
    • Singing or playing an instrument for the Bachelorette (5 points)
    • Giving the Bachelorette a gift (a flower) (5 points)
    • Interrupting someone’s one-on-one time (5 points)
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
  • Lucas: 55 points
    • Dancing (5 points)
    • Interrupting someone’s one-on-one time (5 points)
    • Giving the Bachelorette a gift (whaboom shirt) (5 points)
    • Appearing visibly drunk (15 points)
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
  • Matt: 25 points
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
  • Michael: 5 points
    • Giving the Bachelorette a gift (brownie) (5 points)
  • Milton: 25 points
    • Crying on camera (25 points)
  • Mohit: 20 points
    • Dancing (5 points)
    • Appearing visibly drunk (15 points)
  • Peter: 30 points
    • Giving the Bachelorette a gift (chocolates she didn’t like) (5 points)
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
  • Rob: 5 points
    • Giving the Bachelorette a gift (first round draft pick card — UM IS THIS A SHOUT OUT?!) (5 points)
  • Will: 25 points
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
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May 19 2017
3 Comments
Episode Recaps: Season 13, Points: Season 13

Welcome to “The Bachelorette” Fantasy League, Season 13

Raise your hand if you felt personally victimized by ABC for not releasing the cast bios until FOUR DAYS before “The Bachelorette” started.

BoPRheW

I mean, sweet Moses! We need ample time to carefully research our picks, ABC. We comb through those bios. Check up on contestants’ social media accounts. This isn’t a rush-order job.

Me, researching my picks, this weekend:

4664b61763abd352808a84580bb2013d.jpg

We kick off Season 13 of “The Bachelorette” with extremely high hopes thanks to our intelligent, beautiful Bach, Rachel — the show’s first ever POC Bachelor or Bachelorette, which is insane. Are we very nervous that the show/its contestants will not handle the subject of race delicately? Oh, yeah, you bet.

We put out a call on Twitter for new suggested points categories and we got some great ones. In fact, we chose three of your suggestions, and we’ll file away some of the others for wildcard points to pepper in throughout the season.

If you’ve never played before, or if this is your SEVENTH season playing, read on for the details below. Welcome to the 75th Annual Hunger Games!

HOW OUR BACHELORETTE FANTASY LEAGUE WORKS

1) Gather your “Bachelorette”-loving friends and coworkers, and choose a League Commissioner. The Commissioner is responsible for tallying league members’ points each week and sharing the standings with the league.

2) Choose how your league is going to run your draft (read more on that below) and submit your contestant picks to your league commissioner.

3) Watch “The Bachelorette” every Monday night, beginning May 22 on ABC.

4) Visit this blog every Tuesday to see how each of your contestants scored. The league commissioner should add up the point totals for each team in order to figure out the weekly rankings. You can use our BachFantasy Scoring Template to keep track of your league members’ scores.

THE DRAFT

You have a few options when it comes to drafting your Bachelorette fantasy league team of five contestants. Click here to read more about how to draft your team.

POINTS CATEGORIES

When picking contestants, you’re the team owner. So, go with your gut. The Crazies earn a lot of points (and they’re the very lifeblood of the show’s existence), but you’ll be most rewarded for picking contestants who go the distance.

Points are divided into Phrases, Actions, and Roses. We post a wildcard points category on Twitter every Monday before the episode airs, so be sure to follow us there for the latest info.

There will also be a mid-season draft after Episode 5 in which you’ll be able to add one player to your team if it’s no longer intact. Don’t worry about that for now; there will be more deets later. Onto the points!

We’ve added three (count ’em, THREE) sparkling new points categories this year: Talking shit to the Bachelorette about another contestant in the house, by name (20 points); Shoving another contestant (20 points); and Being hugged by the Bachelorette with the leg wraparound (10 points).

We also made an update to an old category. In the past, a contestant only received points for saying the phrase “not here for the right reasons” to the Bachelor/ette. This season, we did away with that last part. If a contestant utters those magical words at any point on-air, he gets points.

Phrases

  • Talking about his parents’ relationship (5 points)
  • Mentioning his kid (5 points)
  • Mentioning a deceased loved one (10 points)
  • Mentioning a previous fiancee or wife (10 points)
  • Expressing fear of a date activity (10 points)
  • Discussing his virginity (15 points)
  • Saying that someone in the house “is not here for the right reasons” (15 points) [UPDATED FOR 2017]
  • Saying “I’m not here to make friends” (15 points)
  • Talking shit to the Bachelorette about another contestant in the house, by name (20 points) [NEW IN 2017]
  • Saying “I’m falling for/in love with you” to the Bachelorette or “I’m falling for/in love with him” to the camera (20 points)
  • Saying “I love you” to the Bachelorette (30 points)
  • Being told “I love you” by theBachelorette (50 points)

Actions

  • Interrupting someone’s one-on-one time (5 points)
  • Bonus: using the phrase “steal [the Bachelorette] away” during said interruption (5 points)
  • Dancing (5 points)
  • Wearing a helmet (5 points)
  • Singing or playing an instrument for the Bachelorette (5 points)
  • Hot tubbing (5 points)
  • Giving the Bachelorette a gift (5 points)
  • Going on a picnic (5 points)
    • Must be sitting on the ground
  • Wearing a costume or clothing native to another culture/country (5 points)
  • Being hugged by the Bachelorette with legs wrapped around him (10 points) [NEW IN 2017]
  • Attending a concert (10 points)
  • Riding in a helicopter (10 points)
  • Riding on a boat (10 points)
  • Kissing the Bachelorette on the lips (10 points)
  • Being apart of the “team” who wins alone time with the Bachelorette on a group date (15 points)
  • Appearing visibly drunk (15 points)
  • Meeting the Bachelorette’s family and/or friends (15 points)
  • Shoving another contestant (20 points) [NEW IN 2017]
  • Interrupting a rose ceremony to ask to speak with the Bachelorette alone (20 points)
  • Needing medical attention at any point (20 points)
  • Crying on camera (25 points)
    • Must actually see moisture fall; we’re sticklers on this
  • Having a secret girlfriend at home (25 points)
  • Having a body part blurred out any point (30 points)
    • Only for nudity; having your mouth blurred for profanity doesn’t count
  • Leaving the show early on his own accord (30 points)
  • Drafting the next Bachelor on your team (40 points)
  • Coming back to the show to beg for another chance (50 points)

Roses

  • Getting the First Impression Rose (35 points, only available first night)
  • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
  • Being selected to go on a one-on-one date (20 points)
  • Being selected to go on a two-on-one date (30 points)
  • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
  • Getting the rose on a group date (now worth 35 points)
  • Getting the rose on a two-on-one date (40 points)
  • Making it to Hometown Dates (50 points)
  • Accepting the Fantasy Suite (75 points)
  • Refusing the Fantasy Suite when the Bachelorette is game (-75 points)
  • Proposing or being proposed to (85 points)
  • Winning the Final Rose (100 points)

Wildcard Points 

Each week, we’ll announce the wildcard category for the next episode on Twitter (so follow us there for up-to-date info). It will change each week, and is only awarded to one man per episode. For example, one wildcard category might be: the first man to break into song this week gets 25 points.

SCORING

We’ll score each episode for you and post each contestant’s scores every Tuesday. Be sure to check back every Tuesday to see how your teams are stacking up against one another within your own league. We’ll also be posting an episode recap for those of you just can’t get enough Bach.

Will you be joining us this season? Let us know your league or individual team name in the comments. We love your puns. 

P.S. You can sign up to get an email every time we post by entering your email address in the widget at the very bottom of the page.

Did you know we’re on Facebook and also on Twitter? We live-tweet every episode, often while drinking wine and yelling at the TV. It’s a good time. Come tweet with us!

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Jun 21 2016
36 Comments
Points: Season 12

Season 12, Episode 5: Points

The moral of last night’s episode? NEVER date a Chad. 15 wildcard points went to Jordan, who was the first man to celebrate Chad leaving the house.

The mid-season draft will take place this week, if your league is choosing to participate! Stay tuned for a post on Wednesday (tomorrow) with details.

  • Alex: 50 points 
    • Interrupting someone’s one-on-one time (5 points)
    • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
    • Kissing the Bachelorette on the lips (10 points)
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
  • Chad: 0 points
  • Chase: 70 points STAT CORRECTION
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
    • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
    • Kissing the Bachelorette on the lips (10 points)
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
  • Daniel: 0 points
  • Derek: 90 points STAT CORRECTION
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
    • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
    • Kissing the Bachelorette on the lips (10 points)
    • Interrupting someone’s one-on-one time (5 points)
    • Saying “steal her away” during said interrupting (5 points)
    • Getting the rose on the group date (35 points)
  • Evan: 60 points
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
    • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
    • Crying on camera (25 points)
  • Grant: 35 points
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
    • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
  • James F.: o points
  • James Taylor: 70 points
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
    • Kissing the Bachelorette on the lips (10 points)
    • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
    • Note: we did not award instrument points because he wasn’t playing the guitar for the Bachelorette herself or singing a song about her
  • Jordan: 115 points STAT CORRECTION
    • Wildcard points (15 points)
    • Kissing the Bachelorette on the lips (10 points)
    • Being selected for a one-on-one date (20 points)
    • Riding on a boat (10 points)
    • Dancing (5 points)
    • Attending a concert (10 points)
    • Saying “I’m falling for you” to the Bachelorette (20 points)
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
  • Luke: 70 points
    • Interrupting someone’s one-on-one time (5 points)
    • Saying “I’m falling for you” to the Bachelorette (20 points)
    • Kissing the Bachelorette on the lips (10 points)
    • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
  • Robby: 150 points STAT CORRECTION
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
    • Kissing the Bachelorette on the lips (10 points)
    • Saying “I’m falling in love with you” to the Bachelorette (20 points)
    • Saying “I love you” to the Bachelorette (30 points)
    • Being selected to go on a one-on-one date (20 points)
    • Mentioning a deceased loved one (10 points)
    • Expressing fear of a date activity (10 points)
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
  • Vinny: 35 points
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
    • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
  • Wells: 60 points
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
    • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)

+++++++++++++++++

Never miss a post! You can sign up to get an email every time we post by entering your email address in the widget at the very bottom of the page.

Did you know we’re on Facebook and also on Twitter? We live-tweet every episode, often while drinking and yelling at the TV. It’s a good time. Come tweet with us!

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Jul 28 2015
10 Comments
Points: Season 11

Season 11: Finale Points

Well, Nick, you win some, you lose some. Or you lose them all, actually. Sorry, buddy. But a big ol’ Mazel Tov to K + S. We hope to see you on many more People magazine covers together. Though Nick did not receive the final rose, he still pulled in some serious pointage last night, proving once and for all that homie knows how to play this game.

 

  • Nick V.: 145 points
    • Kissing the Bachelorette on the lips (10 points)
    • Riding on a boat (10 points)
    • Meeting the Bachelorette’s family (15 points)
    • Giving the Bachelorette a gift (5 points)
    • Saying “I love you” to the Bachelorette (30 points)
    • Crying on camera (25 points)
    • Wildcard points: Being the first guy to ask for Kaitlyn’s dad for his blessing (50 points)
  • Shawn B.: 160 points
    • Meeting the Bachelorette’s family (15 points)
    • Kissing the Bachelorette on the lips (10 points)
    • Giving the Bachelorette a gift (5 points)
    • Saying “I love you” to the Bachelorette (30 points)
    • Winning the Final Rose (100 points)

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Never miss a post! You can sign up to get an email every time we post by entering your email address in the widget at the very bottom of the page.

Did you know we’re on Facebook and also on Twitter? We live-tweet every episode, often while drinking and yelling at the TV. It’s a good time. Come tweet with us!

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Jul 20 2015
3 Comments
Points: Season 11

Introducing Season 11’s “Men Tell All” Special Points Categories

Based on popular opinion from the last couple of seasons, we’re continuing to score the “Men Tell All” episode this year. It remains optional, so if you decide not to award these points in your league, no biggie. We’re hoping that this gives teams who aren’t doing as well a chance to catch up and make the finale even more exciting in your leagues.

Here’s what we’ll be scoring during the Men Tell All (in addition to the regular points):

  • Entering a guess as to which man will get the final rose (5 points)
  • Apologizing to another contestant (5 points)
  • Being featured on the Blooper Reel (5 points; available once per contestant)
  • Saying the word “bromance” (5 points)
  • Saying the name “Britt” (5 points)
  • Saying that he didn’t know Kaitlyn and Nick had been “intimate” (10 points)
  • Apologizing to Kaitlyn for his behavior on the show (10 points)
  • Speaking negatively about/toward Kaitlyn (10 points)
  • Mentioning a new romantic interest in his life (10 points)
  • Being accused of lying by another contestant (15 points)
  • Asking Kaitlyn why she got rid of him/what went wrong (15 points)
  • Admitting that feelings still remain for Kaitlyn (20 points)
  • Getting chosen for a one-on-one interview in the Hot Seat with Chris Harrison (25 points)
  • Getting chosen to go on Bachelor in Paradise (25 points)
    • Must be officially announced on the show 

No wildcard points for this episode. Good luck!

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Jul 13 2015
23 Comments
Points: Season 11

Season 11, Episode 9: Points

Soooo…calling it now: Ben H. is the next Bachelor, yeah? Like, get woke. He’s the most total package contestant this show has ever seen. The Men Tell All is next week; we’ll be scoring, so don’t you worry. Have any suggestions for special points categories? Leave ’em in the comments below.

Wildcard points: first man to go shirtless won 25 points. Obvi went to Shawn.

  • Ben H.: 110 points (stat correction)
    • Kissing the Bachelorette on the lips (10 points)
    • Going on a picnic (5 points)
    • Saying “I’m falling for you” to the Bachelorette or “I’m falling for her” to the camera (20 points)
    • Accepting the Fantasy Suite invitation (75 points)
  • Nick V.: 170 points (stat correction)
    • Kissing the Bachelorette on the lips (10 points)
    • Going on a picnic (5 points)
    • Saying “I’m falling for you” to the Bachelorette or “I’m falling for her” to the camera (20 points)
    • Saying “I love you” to the Bachelorette (30 points)
    • Dancing (5 points)
    • Crying on camera (25 points)
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
    • Making it to Hometown Dates (50 points)
  • Shawn B.: 295 points (stat correction)
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
    • Kissing the Bachelorette on the lips (10 points)
    • Saying “I’m falling for you” to the Bachelorette or “I’m falling for her” to the camera (20 points)
    • Accepting the Fantasy Suite invitation (75 points)
    • Wildcard points: first man to take his shirt off (25 points)
    • Having a body part blurred out (30 points)
    • Telling the Bachelorette someone in the house “isn’t here for the right reasons” (30 points)
    • Saying “I love you” to the Bachelorette (30 points)
    • Making it to Hometown Dates (50 points)

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Jul 09 2015
3 Comments
Episode Recaps: Season 11

Season 11, Episode 8: Highlight Reel

There are officially no rules left on this show. How many episodes are left? Whose families are we meeting? Are we ever going to see another rose ceremony or is Shawn going to murder-suicide the whole cast in a jealous rage and shut this thing down for good? I don’t have any of those answers for you. I do have a roundup of some of our favorite moments from episode eight though. Have at it.

Highlights from Episode 8:

  1. Shawn’s tomato face when Kaitlyn dropped the sex bomb on him. Shawn felt like the belle of the ball when Kaitlyn kicked everyone else off their group date and awarded him with some one-on-one time. He had no idea that he was about to have the wind knocked out of his sails in a big way, courtesy of Nick’s wiener.
  2. Shawn referring to Nick as “the other guy.” Grow up. He’s not Voldemort and jealousy ain’t cute.
  3. Ben H. being a motherfucking dreamboat. On their one-on-one date, Ben admits that he fears that he isn’t lovable. That is crazy talk, because I’m pretty sure I love him. Also, I wanna get familiar with his bathing suit parts, if you catch my drift.
  4. 3f391d11256cb849745667609ff6e76eJoe’s silent tantrum after Kaitlyn broke his little cowboy heart. I have to assume that there was more to their relationship than what we saw on camera, because by my estimation they spent a total of 6 1/2 minutes together and he claimed he was IN LOVE with her. Not falling. IN LOVE. We didn’t even get a limo exit interview…
  5. leslie-knope-tantrum-oThe return of Nick’s hairless chest. After Kaitlyn and Nick took a trip to Pound Town, we were treated to some morning after footage of them eating breakfast meats and pawing at each other.

What was your favorite moment from this week’s episode? Do you think Joe is still sulking somewhere in Ireland? What type of murder weapon do you think Shawn brought to Nick’s room? Sound off in the comments!

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Jul 07 2015
12 Comments
Points: Season 11

Season 11, Episode 8: Points

I’m putting this in writing: if Ben doesn’t win in the end, I’m moving back to Denver to find him and kiss his face and body and more.

bodyready

In other news, Shawn needs a yoga class or a Xanax (or both). Nick…whatever. I don’t even care. Here’s where we landed after episode 8:

  • Ben H.: 85 points (stat correction)
    • Kissing the Bachelorette on the lips (10 points)
    • Being selected to go on a one-on-one date (20 points)
    • Riding on a boat (10 points)
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
    • Saying “I’m falling for you” to the Bachelorette or “I’m falling for her” to the camera (20 points)
  • Jared: 45 points (stat correction)
    • Crying on camera (25 points)
    • Saying “I’m falling for you” to the Bachelorette or “I’m falling for her” to the camera (20 points)
  • Joe: 50 points (stat correction)
    • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
    • Kissing the Bachelorette on the lips (10 points)
    • Saying “I love you” to the Bachelorette (3o points)
      • Editor’s note: I had to rewind 4 times to hear him actually say that. Speak clearly, boy.
  • Nick V.: 150 points (stat correction)
    • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
    • Interrupting someone’s one-on-one time (5 points)
      • Editor’s note: Nick said “mind if I grab this lovely lady?,” not “steal her away.” No additional points.
    • Kissing the Bachelorette on the lips (10 points)
    • Talking about his parents’ relationship (5 points)
    • Saying “I’m falling for you” to the Bachelorette or “I’m falling for her” to the camera (20 points)
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
    • Accepting the Fantasy Suite invitation (75 points)
  • Shawn B.: 65 points
    • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
    • Kissing the Bachelorette on the lips (10 points)
    • Saying “I’m falling for you” to the Bachelorette or “I’m falling for her” to the camera (20 points)

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Never miss a post! You can sign up to get an email every time we post by entering your email address in the widget at the very bottom of the page.

Did you know we’re on Facebook and also on Twitter? We live-tweet every episode, often while drinking and yelling at the TV. It’s a good time. Come tweet with us!

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