Tag Archives: Bachelor fantasy league

Jun 06 2017
32 Comments
Points: Season 13

Season 13, Episode 3: Points

Whaboom vs. Aspiring Drummer was the TV feud I didn’t know I needed. We were laughing so hard we upset the dog.

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The Bach needs more Ellen, less urban horseback riding, and more mud-wrestling (but only with the dudes).

We didn’t give Bryce points for talking shit about another contestant, by name — because he didn’t talk to the Bachelorette, he told Raven and Company. Oh my god, that’s the name of my new distressed jeans company.

Wildcard points were going to be 15 to the first guy to comfort Rachel about DeMario, but no one really did. So, two weeks with no wildcard points. We’ll try and get a good category next week.

ALSO LIFE UPDATE: both yo’ girls are now living in Denver. We’re trying to get back on the East Coast/Midwest live tweet stream…but in the meantime, we’ll be tweeting on mountain time.

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  • Adam: 70 points
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
    • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
    • Shoving another contestant (20 points)
    • Meeting the Bachelorette’s family and/or friends (15 points)
  • Alex: 100 points
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
    • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
    • Dancing (5 points)
    • Kissing the Bachelorette on the lips (10 points)
    • Getting the rose on the group date (35 points)
    • Meeting the Bachelorette’s family and/or friends (15 points)
  • Anthony: 115 points – STAT CORRECTION
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
    • Being selected to go on a one-on-one date (20 points)
    • Dancing (5 points)
    • Attending a concert (10 points)
    • Kissing the Bachelorette on the lips (10 points)
    • Talking about his parents’ relationship (5 points)
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
    • Meeting the Bachelorette’s family and/or friends (15 points)
  • Blake E.: 15 points -STAT CORRECTION
    • Saying that someone in the house “is not here for the right reasons” (15 points)
  • Brady: 75 points
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
    • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
    • Dancing (5 points)
    • Shoving another contestant (20 points)
    • Meeting the Bachelorette’s family and/or friends (15 points)
  • Bryan: 65 points
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
    • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
    • Dancing (5 points)
    • Kissing the Bachelorette on the lips (10 points)
    • Meeting the Bachelorette’s family and/or friends (15 points)
  • Bryce: 75 points
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
    • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
    • Dancing (5 points)
    • Shoving another contestant (20 points)
    • Meeting the Bachelorette’s family and/or friends (15 points)
  • Dean: 55 points – STAT CORRECTION
    • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
    • Shoving another contestant (20 points)
    • Meeting the Bachelorette’s family and/or friends (15 points)
    • Kissing the Bachelorette on the lips (10 points)
  • DeMario: 0 points
  • Diggy: 45 points
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
    • Interrupting someone’s one-on-one time (5 points)
    • Meeting the Bachelorette’s family and/or friends (15 points)
  • Eric: 105 points 
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
    • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
    • Shoving another contestant (20 points)
    • Getting the rose on the group date (35 points)
    • Meeting the Bachelorette’s family and/or friends (15 points)
  • Fred: 50 points – STAT CORRECTION
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
    • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
    • Dancing (5 points)
    • Kissing the Bachelorette on the lips (10 points)
  • Iggy: 60 points
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
    • Talking shit to the Bachelorette about another contestant in the house, by name (20 points)
    • Meeting the Bachelorette’s family and/or friends (15 points)
  • Jack Stone: 70 points
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
    • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
    • Shoving another contestant (20 points)
    • Meeting the Bachelorette’s family and/or friends (15 points)
  • Jamey: 0 points
  • Jonathan: 55 points
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
    • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
    • Dancing (5 points)
    • Meeting the Bachelorette’s family and/or friends (15 points)
  • Josiah: 15 points
    • Meeting the Bachelorette’s family and/or friends (15 points)
  • Kenny: 80 points
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
    • Mentioning his kid (5 points)
    • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
    • Dancing (5 points)
    • Shoving another contestant (20 points)
    • Meeting the Bachelorette’s family and/or friends (15 points)
  • Lee: 90 points
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
    • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
    • Shoving another contestant (20 points)
    • Talking shit to the Bachelorette about another contestant in the house, by name (20 points)
    • Meeting the Bachelorette’s family and/or friends (15 points)
  • Lucas: 35 points 
    • Talking shit to the Bachelorette about another contestant in the house, by name (20 points)
    • Appearing visibly drunk (15 points)
  • Matt: 40 points
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
    • Meeting the Bachelorette’s family and/or friends (15 points)
  • Peter: 40 points 
    • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
    • Dancing (5 points)
    • Kissing the Bachelorette on the lips (10 points)
    • Meeting the Bachelorette’s family and/or friends (15 points)
  • Will: 65 points
    • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
    • Dancing (5 points)
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
    • Kissing the Bachelorette on the lips (10 points)
    • Meeting the Bachelorette’s family and/or friends (15 points)

Did you know we’re on Twitter? We live-tweet every episode, often while drinking wine and yelling at the TV. It’s a good time. Come tweet with us!

P.S. You can sign up to get an email every time we post by entering your email address in the widget at the very bottom of the page.

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May 19 2017
3 Comments
Episode Recaps: Season 13, Points: Season 13

Welcome to “The Bachelorette” Fantasy League, Season 13

Raise your hand if you felt personally victimized by ABC for not releasing the cast bios until FOUR DAYS before “The Bachelorette” started.

BoPRheW

I mean, sweet Moses! We need ample time to carefully research our picks, ABC. We comb through those bios. Check up on contestants’ social media accounts. This isn’t a rush-order job.

Me, researching my picks, this weekend:

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We kick off Season 13 of “The Bachelorette” with extremely high hopes thanks to our intelligent, beautiful Bach, Rachel — the show’s first ever POC Bachelor or Bachelorette, which is insane. Are we very nervous that the show/its contestants will not handle the subject of race delicately? Oh, yeah, you bet.

We put out a call on Twitter for new suggested points categories and we got some great ones. In fact, we chose three of your suggestions, and we’ll file away some of the others for wildcard points to pepper in throughout the season.

If you’ve never played before, or if this is your SEVENTH season playing, read on for the details below. Welcome to the 75th Annual Hunger Games!

HOW OUR BACHELORETTE FANTASY LEAGUE WORKS

1) Gather your “Bachelorette”-loving friends and coworkers, and choose a League Commissioner. The Commissioner is responsible for tallying league members’ points each week and sharing the standings with the league.

2) Choose how your league is going to run your draft (read more on that below) and submit your contestant picks to your league commissioner.

3) Watch “The Bachelorette” every Monday night, beginning May 22 on ABC.

4) Visit this blog every Tuesday to see how each of your contestants scored. The league commissioner should add up the point totals for each team in order to figure out the weekly rankings. You can use our BachFantasy Scoring Template to keep track of your league members’ scores.

THE DRAFT

You have a few options when it comes to drafting your Bachelorette fantasy league team of five contestants. Click here to read more about how to draft your team.

POINTS CATEGORIES

When picking contestants, you’re the team owner. So, go with your gut. The Crazies earn a lot of points (and they’re the very lifeblood of the show’s existence), but you’ll be most rewarded for picking contestants who go the distance.

Points are divided into Phrases, Actions, and Roses. We post a wildcard points category on Twitter every Monday before the episode airs, so be sure to follow us there for the latest info.

There will also be a mid-season draft after Episode 5 in which you’ll be able to add one player to your team if it’s no longer intact. Don’t worry about that for now; there will be more deets later. Onto the points!

We’ve added three (count ’em, THREE) sparkling new points categories this year: Talking shit to the Bachelorette about another contestant in the house, by name (20 points); Shoving another contestant (20 points); and Being hugged by the Bachelorette with the leg wraparound (10 points).

We also made an update to an old category. In the past, a contestant only received points for saying the phrase “not here for the right reasons” to the Bachelor/ette. This season, we did away with that last part. If a contestant utters those magical words at any point on-air, he gets points.

Phrases

  • Talking about his parents’ relationship (5 points)
  • Mentioning his kid (5 points)
  • Mentioning a deceased loved one (10 points)
  • Mentioning a previous fiancee or wife (10 points)
  • Expressing fear of a date activity (10 points)
  • Discussing his virginity (15 points)
  • Saying that someone in the house “is not here for the right reasons” (15 points) [UPDATED FOR 2017]
  • Saying “I’m not here to make friends” (15 points)
  • Talking shit to the Bachelorette about another contestant in the house, by name (20 points) [NEW IN 2017]
  • Saying “I’m falling for/in love with you” to the Bachelorette or “I’m falling for/in love with him” to the camera (20 points)
  • Saying “I love you” to the Bachelorette (30 points)
  • Being told “I love you” by theBachelorette (50 points)

Actions

  • Interrupting someone’s one-on-one time (5 points)
  • Bonus: using the phrase “steal [the Bachelorette] away” during said interruption (5 points)
  • Dancing (5 points)
  • Wearing a helmet (5 points)
  • Singing or playing an instrument for the Bachelorette (5 points)
  • Hot tubbing (5 points)
  • Giving the Bachelorette a gift (5 points)
  • Going on a picnic (5 points)
    • Must be sitting on the ground
  • Wearing a costume or clothing native to another culture/country (5 points)
  • Being hugged by the Bachelorette with legs wrapped around him (10 points) [NEW IN 2017]
  • Attending a concert (10 points)
  • Riding in a helicopter (10 points)
  • Riding on a boat (10 points)
  • Kissing the Bachelorette on the lips (10 points)
  • Being apart of the “team” who wins alone time with the Bachelorette on a group date (15 points)
  • Appearing visibly drunk (15 points)
  • Meeting the Bachelorette’s family and/or friends (15 points)
  • Shoving another contestant (20 points) [NEW IN 2017]
  • Interrupting a rose ceremony to ask to speak with the Bachelorette alone (20 points)
  • Needing medical attention at any point (20 points)
  • Crying on camera (25 points)
    • Must actually see moisture fall; we’re sticklers on this
  • Having a secret girlfriend at home (25 points)
  • Having a body part blurred out any point (30 points)
    • Only for nudity; having your mouth blurred for profanity doesn’t count
  • Leaving the show early on his own accord (30 points)
  • Drafting the next Bachelor on your team (40 points)
  • Coming back to the show to beg for another chance (50 points)

Roses

  • Getting the First Impression Rose (35 points, only available first night)
  • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
  • Being selected to go on a one-on-one date (20 points)
  • Being selected to go on a two-on-one date (30 points)
  • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
  • Getting the rose on a group date (now worth 35 points)
  • Getting the rose on a two-on-one date (40 points)
  • Making it to Hometown Dates (50 points)
  • Accepting the Fantasy Suite (75 points)
  • Refusing the Fantasy Suite when the Bachelorette is game (-75 points)
  • Proposing or being proposed to (85 points)
  • Winning the Final Rose (100 points)

Wildcard Points 

Each week, we’ll announce the wildcard category for the next episode on Twitter (so follow us there for up-to-date info). It will change each week, and is only awarded to one man per episode. For example, one wildcard category might be: the first man to break into song this week gets 25 points.

SCORING

We’ll score each episode for you and post each contestant’s scores every Tuesday. Be sure to check back every Tuesday to see how your teams are stacking up against one another within your own league. We’ll also be posting an episode recap for those of you just can’t get enough Bach.

Will you be joining us this season? Let us know your league or individual team name in the comments. We love your puns. 

P.S. You can sign up to get an email every time we post by entering your email address in the widget at the very bottom of the page.

Did you know we’re on Facebook and also on Twitter? We live-tweet every episode, often while drinking wine and yelling at the TV. It’s a good time. Come tweet with us!

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Jan 03 2017
16 Comments
Points: Season 21

Season 21, Episode 1: Points

We’re off to the races! Nick’s fourth attempt at nationally televised love is underway. And as always, we’re here to help you compete against your friends, family, and coworkers for all the glory, accolades, and bragging rights that come with being a BachFantasy Champion.

We post our Wildcard Points Category every Monday on Twitter, so be sure to follow us there. Wildcard points last night: 20 points were up for grabs to the first lady who arrived to the Bachelor mansion in something other than formalwear. Alexis won that handily, dressed as Left Shark from Katy Perry’s Super Bowl performance. Her dolphin call upset the shit out of my dog. He had to leave the room.

Reminder: you can use our Season 21 Scoring Template to keep track of your league’s points.

  • Alexis: 65 points
    • Wearing a costume native to another country (sumo wrestler) (5 points)
    • Wildcard points (20 points)
    • Appearing visibly drunk (15 points)
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
  • Angela: 10 points
    • Interrupting someone’s one-on-one time (5 points)
    • Giving the Bachelor a gift (picture frame) (5 points)
  • Astrid: 25 points
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
  • Briana: 25 points
    • Crying on camera (25 points)
  • Brittany: 25 points
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
  • Christen: 30 points
    • Dancing (5 points)
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
  • Corinne: 45 points
    • Giving the Bachelor a gift (that random-ass bag of tokens) (5 points)
    • Interrupting someone’s one-on-one time (5 points)
    • Kissing the Bachelor on the lips (10 points)
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
  • Danielle L.: 25 points
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
  • Danielle M.: 30 points
    • Giving the Bachelor a gift (5 points)
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
  • Dominique: 25 points
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
  • Elizabeth “Liz”: 25 points
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
  • Elizabeth: 25 points
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
  • Hailey: 25 points
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
  • Ida Marie: 0 points
  • Jaimi: 25 points
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
  • Jasmine B: 0 points
  • Jasmine G: 55 points
    • Interrupting someone’s one-on-one time (5 points
    • Crying on camera (25 points)
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
  • Josephine: 30 points
    • Giving the Bachelor a gift (5 points)
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
  • Kristina: 50 points
    • Crying on camera (25 points)
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
  • Lacey: 25 points
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
  • Lauren: 25 points
    • Crying on camera (25 points)
  • Michelle: 0 points
  • Olivia: 0 points
  • Rachel: 50 points
    • Dancing (5 points)
    • Getting the First Impression Rose (35 points)
    • Kissing the Bachelor on the lips (10 points)
  • Raven: 30 points – STAT CORRECTION
    • Wearing a helmet (5 points)
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
  • Sarah: 25 points
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
  • Susannah: 0 points
  • Taylor: 30 points STAT CORRECTION
    • Wearing a helmet (5 points)
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
  • Vanessa: 25 points
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
  • Whitney: 25 points
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)

P.S. You can sign up to get an email every time we post by entering your email address in the widget at the very bottom of the page.

Did you know we’re on Facebook and also on Twitter? We live-tweet every episode, often while drinking wine and yelling at the TV. It’s a good time. Come tweet with us!

 

 

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Dec 28 2016
11 Comments
Points: Season 21

Welcome to “The Bachelor” Fantasy League, Season 21

‘ello ello! Welcome to what is sure to be another thrilling go-round of the original Bachelor Fantasy League. If this is your first time playing, read on for all the gory details below. If you could play BachFantasy in your sleep at this point, welcome back, my beautiful butterflies. We’ve missed you.

HOW OUR BACHELOR FANTASY LEAGUE WORKS

1) Gather your “Bachelor”-loving friends and coworkers, and choose a League Commissioner. The Commissioner is responsible for tallying league members’ points each week and sharing the standings with the league.

2) Choose how your league is going to run your draft (read more on that below) and submit your contestant picks to your league commissioner.

3) Watch “The Bachelor” every Monday night, beginning January 2 on ABC.

4) Visit this blog every Tuesday morning to see how each of your contestants scored. The league commissioner should add up the point totals for each team in order to figure out the weekly rankings. You can use our BachFantasy Scoring Template to keep track of your league members’ scores.

THE DRAFT

You have a few options when it comes to drafting your Bachelor fantasy league team of five contestants. Click here to read more about how to draft your team.

POINTS CATEGORIES

When picking contestants, you’re the team owner. So, go with your gut. The Crazies earn a lot of points (and they’re the very lifeblood of the show’s existence), but you’ll be most rewarded for picking contestants who go the distance.

Points are divided into Phrases, Actions, and Roses. We post a wildcard points category on Twitter every Monday before the episode airs, so be sure to follow us there for the latest info.

There will also be a mid-season draft after Episode 5 in which you’ll be able to add one player to your team if it’s no longer intact. Don’t worry about that for now; there will be more deets later. Onto the points!

Phrases

  • Talking about her parents’ relationship (5 points)
  • Mentioning her kid (5 points)
  • Mentioning a deceased loved one (10 points)
  • Mentioning a previous fiance or husband (10 points)
  • Expressing fear of a date activity (10 points)
  • Discussing her virginity (15 points)
  • Saying “I’m not here to make friends” (20 points)
  • Saying “I’m falling for/in love with you” to the Bachelor or “I’m falling for/in love with him” to the camera (20 points)
  • Saying “I love you” to the Bachelor (30 points)
  • Telling the Bachelor that someone in the house “is not here for the right reasons” (30 points)
  • Being told “I love you” by the Bachelor (50 points)

Actions

  • Interrupting someone’s one-on-one time (5 points)
  • Bonus: using the phrase “steal [the Bachelor] away” during said interruption (5 points)
  • Dancing (5 points)
  • Wearing a helmet (5 points)
  • Singing or playing an instrument (5 points)
  • Hot tubbing (5 points)
  • Giving the Bachelor a gift (5 points)
  • Going on a picnic (5 points)
    • Must be sitting on the ground
  • Wearing a costume or clothing native to another culture/country (5 points)
  • Attending a concert (10 points)
  • Riding in a helicopter (10 points)
  • Riding on a boat (10 points)
  • Kissing the Bachelor on the lips (10 points)
  • Being apart of the “team” who wins alone time with the Bachelor on a group date (15 points)
  • Appearing visibly drunk (15 points)
  • Meeting the Bachelor’s family and/or friends (15 points)
  • Interrupting a rose ceremony to ask to speak with the Bachelor alone (20 points)
  • Needing medical attention at any point (20 points)
  • Crying on camera (25 points)
    • Must actually see moisture fall. We’re sticklers on this. 
  • Having a secret boyfriend at home (25 points)
  • Having a body part blurred out any point (30 points)
    • Only for nudity; having your mouth blurred for profanity doesn’t count
  • Leaving the show early on her own accord (30 points)
  • Drafting the next Bachelorette on your team (40 points)
  • Coming back to the show to beg for another chance (50 points)

Roses

  • Getting the First Impression Rose (35 points, only available first night)
  • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
  • Being selected to go on a one-on-one date (20 points)
  • Being selected to go on a two-on-one date (30 points)
  • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
  • Getting the rose on a group date (35 points)
  • Getting the rose on a two-on-one date (40 points)
  • Making it to Hometown Dates (50 points)
  • Accepting the Fantasy Suite (75 points)
  • Refusing the Fantasy Suite when the Bachelor is game (-75 points)
  • Proposing or being proposed to (85 points)
  • Winning the Final Rose (100 points)

WILDCARD POINTS

Each week, we’ll announce the upcoming wildcard category for the week on Twitter (so follow us to see what it is). It will change weekly and is only awarded to one lady per episode. For example, one wildcard category might be: the first woman to jump in the pool this week gets 20 points.

SCORING

We’ll score each episode for you and post each contestant’s scores every Tuesday morning. Be sure to check back every Tuesday to see how your teams are stacking up against one another. We’ll also be posting an episode recap for those of you just can’t get enough Bach.

Will you be joining us this season? Let us know your league or individual team name in the comments. We love your puns. 

P.S. You can sign up to get an email every time we post by entering your email address in the widget at the very bottom of the page.

Did you know we’re on Facebook and also on Twitter? We live-tweet every episode, often while drinking wine and yelling at the TV. It’s a good time. Come tweet with us!

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Jun 07 2016
22 Comments
Points: Season 12

Season 12, Episode 3: Points

Well, last night’s episode gave us some fresh ideas for points categories in future seasons including throwing a punch (inanimate object): 10 points and tattling to Dad, AKA Chris Harrison: 20 points. Tonight’s episode looks like it might inspire categories such as throwing a punch (animate object): 35 points and being punched: 25 points. What a treat this season has already been!  #DontTryThisAtHome

Overall, this was a fairly low-scoring episode, because there was no rose ceremony last night — we’ll be sure to give the dudes their points for any and all rose ceremonies that occur in Tuesday night’s episode.

The wildcard points category last night was 15 smackers to any man who read a date card aloud to the group (we decided to shake it up and award it to each dude who read a card last night in the episode, versus our usual “first” man to do any given action). We’re trying to keep you on your toes. Look alive out there.

We’ll announce the wildcard points category for tonight’s episode on Twitter. Follow us there to see what we’ve cooked up…

  • Alex: 10 points
    • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
  • Ali: 25 points
    • Wildcard points: reading a date card aloud to the group (15 points)
    • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
  • Chad: 15 points
    • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
    • Interrupting someone’s one-on-one time (5 points)
  • Chase: 90 points STAT CORRECTION
    • Wildcard points (15 points)
    • Mentioning his parents’ relationship (5 points)
    • Being selected to go on a one-on-one date (20 points)
    • Kissing the Bachelorette on the lips (10 points)
    • Attending a concert (10 points)
    • Dancing (5 points)
    • Getting a rose to stay another week (25 points)
  • Christian: 10 points
    • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
  • Daniel: 10 points
    • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
  • Derek: 0 points
  • Evan: 65 points
    • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
    • Interrupting someone’s one-on-one time (5 points)
    • Mentioning his kid (5 points)
    • Kissing the Bachelorette on the lips (10 points)
    • Getting the rose on a group date (35 points)
  • Grant: 25 points STAT CORRECTION
    • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
    • Discussing his virginity (15 points)
  • James F.: 10 points
    • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
  • James Taylor: 90 points STAT CORRECTION
    • Wildcard points: reading a date card aloud to the group (15 points)
    • Being selected to go on a one-on-one date (20 points)
    • Dancing (5 points)
    • Singing or playing an instrument (the guitar) (5 points)
    • Attending a concert (10 points)
    • Kissing the Bachelorette on the lips (10 points)
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
  • Jordan: 20 points
    • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
    • Kissing the Bachelorette on the lips (10 points)
  • Luke: 0 points
  • Nick B: 10 points
    • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
  • Robby: 0 points
  • Vinny: 10 points
    • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
  • Wells: 10 points
    • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)

+++++++++++++++++

Never miss a post! You can sign up to get an email every time we post by entering your email address in the widget at the very bottom of the page.

Did you know we’re on Facebook and also on Twitter? We live-tweet every episode, often while drinking and yelling at the TV. It’s a good time. Come tweet with us!

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May 29 2016
1 Comment
Episode REcaps: Season 12

Season 12 Episode 1: Recap

Buckle up, friends, it’s going to be a drunk season. Following in the footsteps of this season’s fresh crop, I’m 1.5 Bloody Marys deep and ready to get down to some snarking. Since a narrative recap of the premiere would really just boil down to a list of guys named James getting out of a limo to embarrass themselves, we decided to mix things up – yearbook style.

 

Class of Season 12 Superlatives

highschool-yearbook

Most Likely to Bench Press the Bachelorette: Alex

Alex is a short guy with big muscles. He’s already done pushups with JoJo on his back. He’s got something to prove and he’s using his muscles to prove it.

Most Likely to Have a Panic Attack on a One-On-One Date: Ali

Ali was adorably nervous during the whole premiere. He loosened up a bit while playing the piano (or maybe he’d had eight cocktails by then), but Ali is one tightly wound little Mozart.

Most Likely to Get the Axe Next Week: Brandon

Brandon is one of the contestants with a ridiculous “job”, but unlike most of them he has the personality of a used q-tip. Unless things get pretty hipstery next week, Brandon will probably find himself with a lot of time for Instagramming latte art and cruising around on his fixed-gear bike.

Most Likely to Leave the Season with a Restraining Order: Chad

Chad wasted no time establishing himself as the season villain, and it looks like his rage train is on the express track. If Chad were an emoji, he’d be the red-faced guy with a couple of flexed biceps on the side.

Most Likely to Stick Around Despite Having a Below Average Personality: Chase

Chase is attractive and doesn’t seem like a total psychopath. He’ll be here for a while, despite seeming pretty vanilla.

Most Likely to be a Relatively Normal, Nice Guy: Christian

Despite the fact that this dude regularly wakes up in the middle of the night to do crossfit or whatever, I think we may actually have a nice person on our hands here. He’s gainfully employed, keeps his two brothers alive, and hasn’t revealed a pathological rage problem yet. 5/5 stars.

Most Likely to be a Group Date Allstar: Derek

Derek seems fine. I predict that he will go on every group date, playing nice with the other guys (perhaps even showing them the ropes – “So we’re going to compete in this sushi making competition, and then the losing half of the group will have to hitchhike back to the mansion.”), but probably not make much headway with JoJo one-on-one. There are worse Bachelorette fates, Derek.

Most Likely to be Unemployable After This Show: Daniel

Daniel is the season buffoon, here to keep us entertained with the right mixture of shameless ego and minimal self-awareness. Daniel has already defeated the odds by getting a rose despite shedding his clothes and drunkenly belly flopping into the pool on night one, so he’s got more time to embarrass himself before he’s cut.

Most Likely to Worry About Shrinkage: Evan

Evan’s calling in life is to help dudes get boners. Given how many of the Bach leisure and date activities involve swimming, he’s probably mainlining testosterone as we speak.

Most Likely to be a Dark Horse: Grant

Grant was on my short list to draft and I swapped him at the last minute for some White Dude With Stubble™ because history. Now I kind of regret it. I think Grant could stick around.

Most Likely to be Torn Apart by the Fashion Police: James F.

I’m still not over the black shirt and red tie combo. Probably won’t ever get over it. I know Joan Rivers would be on my side here.

Most Likely to Shit His Pants in Chris Harrison’s Presence: James S.

James lives for The Bachelor franchise and his little Ken doll brain couldn’t even compute sharing space with legends like Chris Harrison and Jake Pavelka.

Most Likely to Bring an Acoustic Guitar to the Hot Tub: James Taylor

Please, don’t.

Most Likely to Have a Target on His Back: Jordan

Jordan wasted no time charming the pants off JoJo (not literally, give it a few episodes, guys) and establishing himself as the early front runner. He’s a former pro athlete, attractive, and likable (though his ex has given us something to think about), which means he’s public enemy #1 in the Bach mansion. Sleep with one eye open, Jordan.

Most Likely to Cry it Out: Luke

Luke’s intro featured him somberly discussing his military service. There’s no way this will not come up during an emotional conversation over a dinner that no one will eat.

Most Likely to Surprise Us: Nick B.

Nick B. showed up in a Santa costume. And stayed in a Santa costume. And beat his “Jo Jo Jo” joke to death for two hours wearing a Santa costume. Despite all that, JoJo was into him. Rereading his bio, he may be normal enough to actually have some longevity in this circus.

Most Likely to Bore the Hell Out of Us: Robby

Robby checks the Bach boxes: styled hair, conventionally attractive, slightly murdery eyes, mildly successful athlete at some point in his life, etc. He may also have less personality than a box of hair. TBD.

Most Likely to Be Hungover the Whole Season: Vinny

Vinny was one of the Three Musketeers who earned themselves some visible drunkenness points during Monday’s premiere. I have a feeling that is going to be Vinny’s legacy on this show. Not feeling too confident that he’s going to reinvent himself before he gets booted.

Most Likely to Bring Ginuwine to the Fantasy Suite: Wells

Wells set the bar high by showing up on night one and wooing JoJo with some sweet 90s slow jams. I think Wells is in it for the long haul, and he’s got to top All-4-One.

Most Likely to Knock Teeth with JoJo While Kissing: Will

Poor Will. His cootie catcher kiss gimmick could have been cute, but unfortunately he and JoJo had chemistry roughly equal to that of most first cousins. There could be hope for Will yet, but he’s climbing an uphill battle.

Most Likely to Speak Up During Men Tell All Despite being on the Show for 40 Seconds: Coley, Jake, Jonathan, Sal, Peter, Nick B.

These guys came for their 15 minutes and damnit they’re gonna get it.

Which superlative categories do you think we missed? Tell us in the comments!

 

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May 19 2016
16 Comments
Episode REcaps: Season 12, Points: Season 20

Welcome to “The Bachelorette” Fantasy League, Season 12

Friends, Romans, countrymen and women! Lend me your ears and your chalices of wine! Welcome to what is sure to be another face-melting season of BachFantasy. If you’re new, allow us to roll out the red carpet. Thank you for joining us. Read more below about how to draft a winning team, what we award points for, and general rules of the game.

If you’re a grizzled vet who has played BachFantasy before and laughs heartily in the face of reality love, allow us to scooch a bit on the couch and make room for you. We’re so glad you’re back. How you doing, my babies? Do you want a snack? What you’ve been up to? Come in for a hug, ahhh, there we go. We missed you.

HOW OUR BACHELORETTE FANTASY LEAGUE WORKS

1) Gather your “Bachelorette”-loving friends and coworkers, and choose a League Commissioner. The Commissioner is responsible for tallying league members’ points each week and sharing the standings with the league.

2) Choose how your league is going to run your draft (read more on that below) and submit your contestant picks to your league commissioner.

3) Watch “The Bachelorette” every Monday night, beginning May 23 on ABC.

4) Visit this blog every Tuesday morning to see how each of your contestants scored. The league commissioner should add up the point totals for each team in order to figure out the weekly rankings. You can use our BachFantasy Scoring Template to keep track of your league members’ scores.

THE DRAFT

You have a few options when it comes to drafting your Bachelorette fantasy league team team of five contestants. Click here to read more about how to draft your team.

POINTS CATEGORIES

When picking contestants, you’re the team owner. So you do you. Crazies earn a lot of points (and they’re the very lifeblood of the show’s existence), but you’ll be most rewarded for picking contestants who go the distance. (You can read our opinions on this season’s drafting pool here.)

Points are divided into Phrases, Actions, and Roses. We’ve added a few new points categories this year during Ben’s season and a couple more for JoJo’s season; look for bolded points below to see the newbies. We post a new wildcard points category on Twitter every Monday before the episode airs, so be sure to follow us there for the latest info.

There will also be a mid-season draft after Episode 5 in which you’ll be able to add one player to your team if it’s no longer intact. Don’t worry about that for now; there will be more deets later. Onto the points!

Phrases

  • Talking about his parents’ relationship (5 points)
  • Mentioning his kid (5 points)
  • Mentioning a deceased loved one (10 points)
  • Mentioning a previous fiancee or wife (10 points)
  • Expressing fear of a date activity (10 points) NEW IN 2016
  • Discussing his virginity (15 points) NEW IN 2016
  • Saying “I’m not here to make friends” (20 points)
  • Saying “I’m falling for you” to the Bachelorette or “I’m falling for her” to the camera (20 points)
  • Saying “I love you” to the Bachelorette (30 points)
  • Telling the Bachelorette that someone in the house “is not here for the right reasons” (30 points)
  • Being told “I love you” by the Bachelorette (50 points) NEW IN 2016

Actions

  • Interrupting someone’s one-on-one time (5 points)
  • Bonus: using the phrase “steal [the Bachelorette] away” during said interruption (5 points)
  • Dancing (5 points)
  • Wearing a helmet (5 points)
  • Singing or playing an instrument for the Bachelor (5 points)
  • Hot tubbing (5 points)
  • Giving the Bachelorette a gift (5 points)
  • Going on a picnic (5 points)
    • Must be sitting on the ground
  • Wearing a costume or clothing native to another culture/country (5 points)
  • Attending a concert (10 points) NEW IN 2016
  • Riding in a helicopter (10 points)
  • Riding on a boat (10 points)
  • Kissing the Bachelorette on the lips (10 points)
  • Being apart of the “team” who wins alone time with the Bachelorette on a group date (15 points) NEW IN 2016
  • Appearing visibly drunk (15 points)
  • Meeting the Bachelorette’s family and/or friends (15 points)
  • Interrupting a rose ceremony to ask to speak with the Bachelorette alone (20 points) NEW IN 2016
  • Needing medical attention at any point (20 points)
  • Crying on camera (25 points)
    • Must actually see moisture fall. We’re sticklers on this. 
  • Having a secret girlfriend at home (25 points)
  • Having a body part blurred out any point (30 points)
    • Only for nudity; having your mouth blurred for profanity doesn’t count
  • Leaving the show early on his own accord (30 points)
  • Drafting the next Bachelor on your team (40 points)
  • Coming back to the show to beg for another chance (50 points)

Roses

  • Getting the First Impression Rose (35 points, only available first night)
  • Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
  • Being selected to go on a one-on-one date (20 points)
  • Being selected to go on a two-on-one date (30 points) NEW IN 2016
  • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
  • Getting the rose on a group date (now worth 35 points) NEW IN 2016
  • Getting the rose on a two-on-one date (40 points)
  • Making it to Hometown Dates (50 points)
  • Accepting the Fantasy Suite (75 points)
  • Refusing the Fantasy Suite when the Bachelorette is game (-75 points)
  • Proposing or being proposed to (85 points) NEW IN 2016
  • Winning the Final Rose (100 points)

WILDCARD POINTS

Each week, we’ll announce the upcoming wildcard category for the week on Twitter (so follow us to see what it is). It will change weekly and is only awarded to one dude per episode. For example, one wildcard category might be: the first man to dance this week gets 20 points.

SCORING

We’ll score each episode for you and post each contestant’s scores every Tuesday morning. Be sure to check back every Tuesday to see how your teams are stacking up against one another. We’ll also be posting an episode recap for those of you just can’t get enough Bach.

Will you be joining us this season? Let us know your league or individual team name in the comments! (We heart puns.)

P.S. You can sign up to get an email every time we post by entering your email address in the widget at the very bottom of the page.

Did you know we’re on Facebook and also on Twitter? We live-tweet every episode, often while drinking wine and yelling at the TV. It’s a good time. Come tweet with us!

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Mar 08 2016
14 Comments
Points: Season 20

Season 20: Episode 10 Women Tell All

Ah, the Women Tell All, we’ve missed you. So many almost-tears, so many non-apologies. Side note: how do you get to be in the studio audience? We want in. Chris Harrison, call us. Also, that Blooper Reel is the stuff dreams are made of. Why don’t they include more of those moments on the show itself? JoJo was gold in that blooper reel. If she doesn’t win this season, I hope she’s the next Bachelorette. (Don’t even come at me with these Caila rumors. I’m not really digging it.)

Also! We didn’t award points when they rolled clips from the past season, except for the Blooper Reel.

Lastly, for the finale next Monday, tweet us a photo of your viewing party and hashtag it #BachFantasyViewingParty. We’ll be retweeting a bunch of the photos next Monday.

  • Amanda: 10 points STAT CORRECTION
    • Being featured on the Blooper Reel (5 points)
    • Mentioning her kids (5 points)
  • Amber: 20 points
    • Calling another contestant a liar (15 points)
    • Being featured on the Blooper Reel (5 points)
  • Becca: 20 points
    • Calling another contestant a liar (15 points)
    • Being featured on the Blooper Reel (5 points)
  • Caila: 65 points STAT CORRECTION
    • Getting chosen for a one-on-one interview with Chris Harrison (25 points)
    • Asking Ben why he got rid of her (15 points)
    • Admitting feelings still remain for Ben (20 points)
    • Being featured on the Blooper Reel (5 points)
  • Emily: 20 points
    • Calling another contestant a liar (15 points)
    • Being featured on the Blooper Reel (5 points)
  • Haley: 20 points
    • Calling another contestant a liar (15 points)
    • Being featured on the Blooper Reel (5 points)
  • Izzy: 0 points
  • Jackie: 5 points
    • Being featured on the Blooper Reel (5 points)
  • Jami: 15 points
    • Calling another contestant a liar (15 points)
  • Jennifer: 5 points
    • Being featured on the Blooper Reel (5 points)
  • JoJo: 5 points
    • Being featured on the Blooper Reel (5 points)
  • Jubilee: 85 points
    • Being accused of lying by another contestant (15 points)
    • Apologizing to another contestant (5 points)
    • Getting chosen for a one-on-one interview with Chris Harrison (25 points)
    • Mentioning a deceased loved one (10 points)
    • Crying on camera (25 points)
    • Being featured on the Blooper Reel (5 points)
  • Lace: 65 points
    • Getting chosen for a one-on-one interview with Chris Harrison (25 points)
    • Mentioning a new romantic interest in her life (10 points)
    • Getting chosen to go on Bachelor in Paradise (25 points)
    • Being featured on the Blooper Reel (5 points)
  • Lauren B.: 5 points
    • Being featured on the Blooper Reel (5 points)
  • Lauren H.: 5 points
    • Being featured on the Blooper Reel (5 points)
  • Lauren LB: 5 points
    • Being featured on the Blooper Reel (5 points)
  • Leah: 20 points
    • Being accused of lying by another contestant (15 points)
    • Being featured on the Blooper Reel (5 points)
  • Mandi: 5 points
    • Being featured on the Blooper Reel (5 points)
  • Olivia: 50 points STAT CORRECTION
    • Getting chosen for a one-on-one interview with Chris Harrison (25 points)
    • Being accused of lying by another contestant (15 points)
    • Apologizing to another contestant (5 points)
    • Being featured on the Blooper Reel (5 points)
  • Rachel: 5 points
    • Being featured on the Blooper Reel (5 points)
  • Samantha: 5 points
    • Being featured on the Blooper Reel (5 points)
  • Shushanna: 0 points
  • Tiara: 0 points
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Mar 07 2016
3 Comments
Points: Season 20

Season 20 (Optional) Women Tell All Points Categories

My friends, I apologize for this terribly late post. Both of us BachFantasy co-founders moved this week, and as BachFantasy is still just a hobby and not our 9-5s (WE WISH), we had to abandon it a little bit. We sincerely apologize and appreciate your patience.

These points are optional so if your league does not want to award any points for tonight’s episode, that’s okay. Also, there will be no wildcard points tonight.

 

We’ve decided to only award points to the contestants belonging to each team AFTER the mid-season draft. Some of you pointed out that it seems like we’re punishing people who drafted well (i.e., have JoJo and Lauren B. remaining on their teams and thus don’t have an opportunity to score as many points in the Women Tell All). We’re actually hoping that this gives teams who aren’t doing as well a chance to catch up and make the finale even more exciting in your leagues.

Here’s what we’ll be scoring during the Women Tell All (in addition to all the regular points):

  • Entering a guess as to who will win the show (5 points)
  • Apologizing to another contestant (5 points)
  • Apologizing directly to Ben (5 points)
  • Being featured on the Blooper Reel (5 points; available once per contestant)
  • Mentioning a new romantic interest in her life (10 points)
  • Asking Ben why he got rid of her (15 points)
  • Being accused of lying by another contestant (15 points)
  • Calling another contestant a liar or saying that she’s lying (15 points)
  • Admitting that feelings still remain for Ben (20 points)
  • Getting chosen for a one-on-one interview with Chris Harrison (25 points)
  • Getting chosen to go on Bachelor in Paradise/Bachelor Pad (25 points)
    • Must be officially announced on the show 

Good luck!

 

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Mar 01 2016
31 Comments
Points: Season 20

Season 20, Episode 9: Points

Loved that opening shot of Ben crawling up ancient ruins in flip-flops and cargo pants. (I saw Ben Higgins hiking in cargo shorts and flip-flops so I went out and bought cargo shorts and flip-flops.)

This episode was ja-maican me crazy for many reasons, not the least being that I just moved to Higgins’ town (chill, it’s Denver—not Warsaw, Indiana), and the show comes on at 9 p.m. here. What the what! Bach fans in Mountain Time Zone, how do you do it?!

Also, I like believe in Ben and Lauren. He is such a smitten kitten with her. I’ve never seen a Bachelor more infatuated with a contestant. It’s kinda refreshing.

Okay, let’s get into points.

Caila: 200 points STAT CORRECTION

  • Kissing the Bachelor on the lips (10 points)
  • Riding on a boat (10 points)
  • Saying “I’m falling for him” or “I’m in love with him” to Ben (20 points)
  • Accepting the Fantasy Suite invitation (75 points)
  • Saying “I love you” to Ben (30 points)
  • Crying on camera (25 points)
  • Having a body part blurred out (30 points)

JoJo: 170 points

  • Kissing the Bachelor on the lips (10 points)
  • Riding in a helicopter (10 points)
  • Saying “I’m falling for him” or “I’m in love with him” to the camera (20 points)
  • Saying “I love you” to the Bachelor (30 points)
  • Accepting the Fantasy Suite invitation (75 points)
  • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)

Lauren B.: 180 points

  • Saying “I’m falling for him” or “I’m in love with him” to the camera (20 points)
  • Kissing the Bachelor on the lips (10 points)
  • Riding on a boat (10 points)
  • Attending a concert (10 points)
  • Accepting the Fantasy Suite invitation (75 points)
  • Saying “I love you” to Ben (30 points)
  • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
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