Bach Fantasy

BF Update: Arie’s Season

Bach Fantasy — Thu, 28 Dec 2017 17:59:44 +0000

Hello, friends! We’re very sorry for the delay here. The best excuse that we can offer is that we’ve both been in low key sugar comas for the past 2 weeks (if you’re not eating a cookie before you even brush your teeth in the morning, you’re doing December all wrong).

Anyway, we’ll cut to the chase: we have chosen not to continue with BachFantasy for Arie’s season.

Truly, it’s not you, it’s us. We love you guys. You have been loyal and supportive for the past four years and have made this so much fun for us. However, it’s becoming increasingly difficult to run this as our side hustle given other demands on our time. We know many of you manage huge leagues and count on us each season to score, so it wasn’t a decision we made lightly. We hope you understand, and know how grateful we are for all who have played along with us for the past four years.

We plan to leave the site live, so all the points categories will still be accessible. If you liked our scoring system, feel free to use it and score for your leagues individually. We know this is extra work for you (trust us…we know how much work it is…), but do want to keep it available for anyone who is interested.

Again, we can’t thank all of you enough for the past few years. We’ve had a blast running the site and playing along with you each season.

Yours in snark,

Becca and Jorie

Season 13, Episode 10: Points

Bach Fantasy — Tue, 08 Aug 2017 11:00:35 +0000

Well. Here at BachFantasy HQ, we are shook. Simply put:

Just can’t believe Rachel let Peter (sweet, mature, crying-his-eyes-out-on-his-sweater, adorably gap-toothed Peter!) go because he wasn’t ready to propose after six weeks of nonexclusive dating. He was READY to start a life with her! He just wasn’t ready to propose yet. So instead, she bid adieu to this…

and signed on for a life sentence with a Certified Monster-in-Law and a marriage to a man who has appeared on another reality dating show. Bryan was her second-choice! It was so obvious to the at-home viewer and the entire Internet. But our girl wanted a ring, and she wanted it bad.

Rachel did some impressive back-pedaling during the live finale, trying to explain that there were some other issues with Peter that led to their break-up (What—his six pack was too firm? She frequently got lost in his eyes? He was just TOO understanding?). Frankly, we’re not buying what she’s selling. She was justifying her choice of spouse, and we all saw through it. Peter telling her to enjoy her mediocre life (and then later apologizing for that like the goddamn Wisconsin gentleman he is!) was a great mic drop moment. Then, Rach retorted that she’s living her best life, with a haughty little hair flip and a big dose of sass. Methinks the lady doth protest too much…

Anyway. Mazel to the newly betrothed, or whatever.

At least Eric’s revenge beard was on POINT during the live portion of the finale. Gotta cling to small victories in moments like these, ya know?

Here’s what we got for the final points. What’d you think of this season’s ending? Let us know in the comments.

Bryan: 410 points
- Kissing the Bachelorette on the lips (10 points)
- Saying “I’m falling for/in love with you” to the Bachelorette or “I’m falling for/in love with him” to the camera (20 points)
- Accepting the Fantasy Suite (75 points)
- Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
- Expressing fear of a date activity (10 points)
- Giving the Bachelorette a gift (5 points)
- Proposing or being proposed to (85 points)
- Winning the Final Rose (100 points)
- Saying “I love you” to the Bachelorette (30 points)
- Being told “I love you” by the Bachelorette (50 points)
~~Eric: 90 points~~ STAT CORRECTION
- Kissing the Bachelorette on the lips (10 points)
- Saying “I love you” to the Bachelorette (30 points)
- Being told “I love you” by the Bachelorette (50 points)
Peter: 265 points
- Accepting the Fantasy Suite (75 points)
- Kissing the Bachelorette on the lips (10 points)
- Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
- Saying “I’m falling for/in love with you” to the Bachelorette or “I’m falling for/in love with him” to the camera (20 points)
- Saying “I love you” to the Bachelorette (30 points)
- Being told “I love you” by the Bachelorette (50 points)
- Crying on camera (25 points)
- Leaving the show early on his own accord (30 points)

Season 13: Men Tell All Points

Bach Fantasy — Tue, 01 Aug 2017 13:39:11 +0000

Real talk: the Men Tell All episode is a nightmare to score. I’m over here trying to keep track of all the lying accusations, while all I want to do is give 1000 points to Anthony for standing up and letting Lee know exactly what his problem is. Anyway, some notes:

Points are not given for any footage from earlier in the season (i.e. rehashing Dean’s emotional ride).
I gave bloopers points to men who were featured in the blooper reel. If you care to watch slow mo replays to figure out precisely who was in the blurry and bumpy golf cart footage, God bless.
I’m sure I missed some accusations of lying. Please post in the comments if you caught something I did not.
DeMario was accused of lying, but not by another contestant. No points, suckas.

—————————————————————————————————

Adam: 5 points
- Being featured on the Blooper Reel (5 points)
Alex: 5 points
- Being featured on the Blooper Reel (5 points)
Anthony: 5 points
- Being featured on the Blooper Reel (5 points)
Blake: 15 points (STAT CORRECTION)
- Being accused of lying by another contestant (15 points)
Dean: 70 points
- Getting chosen for a one-on-one interview in the Hot Seat with Chris Harrison (25 points)
- Getting chosen to go on Bachelor in Paradise (25 points)
- Asking Rachel why she got rid of him/what went wrong (15 points)
- Being featured on the Blooper Reel (5 points)
DeMario: 5 points
- Being featured on the Blooper Reel (5 points)
Eric: 5 points
- Being featured on the Blooper Reel (5 points)
Iggy: 5 points
- Being featured on the Blooper Reel (5 points)
Jonathan: 5 points
- Being featured on the Blooper Reel (5 points)
Josiah: 5 points
- Being featured on the Blooper Reel (5 points)
Kenny: 35 points
- Getting chosen for a one-on-one interview in the Hot Seat with Chris Harrison (25 points)
- Being featured on the Blooper Reel (5 points)
- Mentioning his kid (5 points)
Lee: 55 points
- Being accused of lying by another contestant (15 points)
- Getting chosen for a one-on-one interview in the Hot Seat with Chris Harrison (25 points)
- Apologizing to another contestant (5 points)
- Apologizing to Rachel for his behavior on the show (10 points)

Season 13 Episode 9: Points

Bach Fantasy — Tue, 25 Jul 2017 13:52:10 +0000

Not to be dramatic, but if this season comes down to Eric and Bryan, I’ll set myself on fire. Eric is fine, I wish him well with his “feelings of emotions” and all, blah blah. Bryan can go back to Miami and climb back into the adult-sized Baby Bjorn he escaped from to come on this show.

Points are a little lopsided among the men this week, since we got a “to be continued…” There were a couple of judgment calls we made. I did give Peter points for giving Rachel a gift (the cork from their date), but did not give them concert points (I’ve been sung to against my will before – it didn’t feel like a concert). Also, it seems that Rachel may have offered Peter the Fantasy Suite, though we didn’t witness the formal presentation of Chris Harrison’s invitation and key to Bonetown. We’re holding off on giving those points until we see the conclusion of their date next week before making a call.

Bryan: 60 points (STAT CORRECTION)
- Meeting the Bachelorette’s family and/or friends (15 points)
- Expressing fear of a date activity (10 points)
- Kissing the Bachelorette on the lips (10 points)
- Saying “I’m falling for/in love with you” to the Bachelorette (20 points)
- Talking about his parents’ relationship (5 points)
Eric: 160 points (STAT CORRECTION)
- Meeting the Bachelorette’s family and/or friends (15 points)
- Kissing the Bachelorette on the lips (10 points)
- Expressing fear of a date activity (10 points)
- Talking about his parents’ relationship (5 points)
- Riding in a helicopter (10 points)
- Dancing (5 points)
- Saying “I love you” to the Bachelorette (30 points)
- Accepting the Fantasy Suite (75 points)
Peter: 70 points (STAT CORRECTION)
- Meeting the Bachelorette’s family and/or friends (15 points)
- Kissing the Bachelorette on the lips (10 points)
- Saying “I’m falling for/in love with you” to the Bachelorette (20 points)
- Talking about his parents’ relationship (5 points)
- Giving the Bachelorette a gift (5 points)
- Wildcard points: First guy to make Rachel cry (15 points)

Season 13, Episode 8: Points

Bach Fantasy — Tue, 18 Jul 2017 14:05:09 +0000

Well tonight’s episode checked off our boxes: Tidy conclusion to a journey of emotional discovery? Check. Statement jewelry? Check. An overbearing parent who kinda maybe wants to date their kid? Check. Doubts about whether 6 weeks is enough to decide to propose to someone you’re dating non-exclusively? Check. ABC lowering the bar again and exploiting a family’s grief and trauma for 15 minutes of content? Big fat mother trucking check.

In the end, we say goodbye to Dean and are left to bear another week watching Bryan suck Rachel’s face. Bleh.

We decided not to give Eric “I love you” points. We heard both sides and decided that because Rachel didn’t feel he said it, it doesn’t count. If you feel differently, feel free to award the points in your league. Bless up.

Bryan: 130 points
- Being hugged by the Bachelorette with legs wrapped around him (10 points)
- Kissing the Bachelorette on the lips (10 points)
- Making it to Hometown Dates (50 points)
- Dancing (5 points)
- Saying “I love you” to the Bachelorette (30 points)
- Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
~~Dean: 95 points~~
- Making it to Hometown Dates (50 points)
- Being hugged by the Bachelorette with legs wrapped around him (10 points)
- Kissing the Bachelorette on the lips (10 points)
- Wearing a helmet (5 points)
- Saying “I’m falling for/in love with you” to the Bachelorette (20 points)
Eric: 95 points
- Making it to Hometown Dates (50 points)
- Being hugged by the Bachelorette with legs wrapped around him (10 points)
- Kissing the Bachelorette on the lips (10 points)
- Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
Peter: 95 points
- Making it to Hometown Dates (50 points)
- Being hugged by the Bachelorette with legs wrapped around him (10 points)
- Kissing the Bachelorette on the lips (10 points)
- Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)

Did you know we’re on Twitter? We live-tweet every episode, often while drinking wine and yelling at the TV. It’s a good time. Come tweet with us!

P.S. You can sign up to get an email every time we post by entering your email address in the widget at the very bottom of the page.

Season 13, Episode 7: Points

Bach Fantasy — Tue, 11 Jul 2017 12:00:51 +0000

Wildcard points: 15 to the first man to wear a scarf. That was Eric, who donned it early and hard, when the boys were walking into the hotel.

FYI, we award Hometown Points next week, when the men actually make it to hometowns.

~~Adam: 30 points~~ STAT CORRECTION
- Riding on a boat (10 points)
- Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
- Kissing the Bachelorette on the lips (10 points)
Bryan: 80 points
- Riding on a boat (10 points)
- Being selected to go on a one-on-one date (20 points)
- Kissing the Bachelorette on the lips (10 points)
- Dancing (5 points)
- Attending a concert (10 points)
- Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
Dean: 90 points
- Riding on a boat (10 points)
- Being selected to go on a one-on-one date (20 points)
- Dancing (5 points)
- Attending a concert (10 points)
- Mentioning a deceased loved one (10 points)
- Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
- Kissing the Bachelorette on the lips (10 points)
Eric: 75 points
- Riding on a boat (10 points)
- Wildcard points: first person to wear a scarf (15 points)
- Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
- Talking about his parents’ relationship (5 points)
- Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
- Kissing the Bachelorette on the lips (10 points)
~~Matt: 30 points~~
- Riding on a boat (10 points)
- Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
- Kissing the Bachelorette on the lips (10 points)
Peter: 90 points
- Riding on a boat (10 points)
- Being selected to go on a one-on-one date (20 points)
- Kissing the Bachelorette on the lips (10 points)
- Being hugged by the Bachelorette with legs wrapped around him (10 points)
- Riding in a helicopter (10 points)
- Going on a picnic (5 points)
- Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)

Did you know we’re on Twitter? We live-tweet every episode, often while drinking wine and yelling at the TV. It’s a good time. Come tweet with us!

P.S. You can sign up to get an email every time we post by entering your email address in the widget at the very bottom of the page.

Season 13 Mid-Season Draft

Bach Fantasy — Fri, 30 Jun 2017 20:49:41 +0000

Ok, so technically this draft is happening slightly past the middle of the season. Blame ABC for that one.

I don’t know about you guys, but my team is hurting this season. The below is an accurate representation of my current team, if that cat were Peter and I were the dragger. We won’t give up, but we’d really like another cat to limp over the finish line with us.

Regardless of whether your team has hemorrhaged players like mine has, you will have an opportunity to shake things up and boost your point-earning potential through the end of the season.

See the instructions below for how it works. Remember that this is totally optional. If you’re the commissioner of your league, you can choose whether or not to have a mid-season draft.

The Rules:

– If your team is NOT fully intact (i.e., you no longer have all of the contestants you originally drafted):

You can draft exactly one more brochacho to your roster.

– If your team IS fully intact:

You get a bonus of 50 points
OR you can swap out one of your existing contestants for another dude

When To Draft:

– You should complete the mid-season draft BEFORE the start of Episode 7 on Monday. Email/text/send an owl to your league commissioner with your chosen contestant.

Points:

– If you add one dude to your roster, you’ll receive points for your new team for the ENTIRETY of Episode 7 (and for the rest of the season).

– If your team is intact and you decide to swap out one of your existing contestants, you’ll only receive points for your NEW team during Episode 7 (and the rest of the season). For example, say you decide to get rid of Matt and add Peter. If Matt gets a rose during Episode 7, kisses the Bachelorette, etc., he is no longer on your team and you no longer get points for his actions. K?

Updated Scoresheet!

Bach Fantasy — Thu, 29 Jun 2017 14:41:16 +0000

Hi friends. It wasn’t enough for ABC to require 4 hours of our lives this week. They also had to eff up our mid-season draft.

If your league had their shit together and did the mid-season draft between the Monday and Tuesday episodes, go ahead and pin a rose on your goody two shoes little nose.

JK WE LOVE YOU AND ARE VERY PROUD OF YOUR COMMITMENT. If, you are a mere mortal like us and did NOT get it together, you’ll need an updated scoring sheet. We support you either way.

Attached here is the updated sheet. This will work for those of you who plan to do a mid-season draft before Monday’s episode. Simply copy and paste the contents of your “League Member Teams” and “Contestant Scores” tabs from your existing spreadsheet and everything will update.

We’ll post instructions for the draft this week (spoiler alert: it will be basically the same as last year)!

BachFantasy Scoresheet Rachel Season

Season 13, Episode 6: Points

Bach Fantasy — Wed, 28 Jun 2017 12:00:12 +0000

Lee got fired and subsequently ditched in the wilds of Norway on the two-on-one. Hope he’s read Hatchet recently. Dude has to sail by the stars back to the U.S.

We also lost a TON of good men this week (Anthony, Josiah, Kenny, Will, and Alex) — if your team is hurting, never fear. We’ve got the Mid-Season Draft coming up this week. Stay tuned for another post on that later this week.

Also: Bryan won the wildcard points for being the first person to predict that Lee was going to go home on the two-on-one date.

Adam: 145 points STAT CORRECTION
- Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
- Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
- Saying “I’m falling for/in love with you” to the Bachelorette or “I’m falling for/in love with her” to the camera (20 points)
- Riding on a boat (10 points)
- Wearing a costume or clothing native to another culture/country (5 points)
- Kissing the Bachelorette on the lips (10 points)
- Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
- Needing medical attention at any point (20 points)
- Shoving another contestant (20 points)
~~Alex: 75 points~~ STAT CORRECTION
- Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
- Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
- Riding on a boat (10 points)
- Wearing a costume or clothing native to another culture/country (5 points)
- Shoving another contestant (20 points)
- Wearing a helmet (5 points)
~~Anthony: 0 points~~
Bryan: 90 points STAT CORRECTION
- Wildcard: first guy (other than Kenny) to predict that Lee is going home on the two-on-one (10 points)
- Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
- Riding on a boat (10 points)
- Wearing a costume or clothing native to another culture/country (5 points)
- Shoving another contestant (20 points)
- Kissing the Bachelorette on the lips (10 points)
- Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
Dean: 100 points STAT CORRECTION
- Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
- Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
- Riding on a boat (10 points)
- Wearing a costume or clothing native to another culture/country (5 points)
- Shoving another contestant (20 points)
- Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
- Wearing a helmet (5 points)
Eric: 125 points STAT CORRECTION
- Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
- Being selected to go on a one-on-one date (20 points)
- Kissing the Bachelorette on the lips (10 points)
- Dancing (5 points)
- Riding on a boat (10 points)
- Hot tubbing (5 points)
- Talking about his parents’ relationship (5 points)
- Saying “I’m falling for/in love with you” to the Bachelorette or “I’m falling for/in love with her” to the camera (20 points)
- Getting the rose on his one-on-one date (25 points)
~~Josiah: 0 points~~
~~Kenny: 180 points~~ STAT CORRECTION
- Riding in a helicopter (10 points)
- Getting the rose on a two-on-one date (40 points)
- Kissing the Bachelorette on the lips (10 points)
- Mentioning his kid (5 points)
- Crying on camera (25 points)
- Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
- Riding on a boat (10 points)
- Wearing a costume or clothing native to another culture/country (5 points)
- Shoving another contestant (20 points)
- Needing medical attention at any point (20 points)
- Saying “I’m falling for/in love with you” to the Bachelorette or “I’m falling for/in love with her” to the camera (20 points)
- Wearing a helmet (5 points)
~~Lee: 20 points~~ STAT CORRECTION
- Talking shit to the Bachelorette about another contestant in the house, by name (20 points)
Matt: 95 points STAT CORRECTION
- Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
- Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
- Riding on a boat (10 points)
- Wearing a costume or clothing native to another culture/country (5 points)
- Shoving another contestant (20 points)
- Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
Peter: 115 points STAT CORRECTION
- Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
- Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
- Riding on a boat (10 points)
- Wearing a costume or clothing native to another culture/country (5 points)
- Shoving another contestant (20 points)
- Kissing the Bachelorette on the lips (10 points)
- Getting the rose on a group date (35 points)
~~Will: 45 points~~ STAT CORRECTION
- Being selected to go on a one-on-one date (20 points)
- Riding on a boat (10 points)
- Dancing (5 points)
- Kissing the Bachelorette on the lips (10 points)

Did you know we’re on Twitter? We live-tweet every episode, often while drinking wine and yelling at the TV. It’s a good time. Come tweet with us!

P.S. You can sign up to get an email every time we post by entering your email address in the widget at the very bottom of the page.

Season 13, Episode 5: Points

Bach Fantasy — Tue, 27 Jun 2017 12:00:57 +0000

A few hot takes from last night’s episode that I just have to get off my chest:

I’m going to make my new ringtone Kenny stage-whispering to Lee: “You’re a BITCH!”
The kiss between Jack Stone and Rachel:

The Norwegian handball coach saying, “Handball is life” without a hint of irony was a top quote of the evening.
Rachel is FEELING Peter and so. are. we. Dayum. Have some cutie little gap-toothed babies already!
One of the clearest signs that Lee is a red flag of a human being (as if the racist tweets and highly punchable face weren’t enough)? The fact that he weight-lifts in cowboy boots and jeans. What. On. God’s. Green. Earth.

Okay, let’s get down to business. No wildcard points awarded last night. There will be wildcard points for tomorrow, however. Stay tuned.

A note: typically we do the Mid-Season Draft between Episode 5 and 6, but this season, we’re doing it AFTER Episode 6 (before Episode 7) because we can’t possibly expect all of our leagues to get that shiz ready within 24 hours. We haven’t been training for back-to-back Bachelorette viewings. We’re wheezing on the steps. We’re out of breath. So look for more information on the Mid-Season Draft coming later this week.

Adam: 35 points
- Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
- Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
Alex: 45 points
- Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
- Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
- Kissing the Bachelorette on the lips (10 points)
Anthony: 35 points
- Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
- Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
Bryan: 110 points (STAT CORRECTION)
- Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
- Kissing the Bachelorette on the lips (10 points)
- Getting the rose on a group date (35 points)
- Being selected to go on a one-on-one date (20 points)
- Saying “I’m falling in love with you” to her (20 points)
Dean: 10 points
- Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
Eric: 45 points
- Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
- Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
- Kissing the Bachelorette on the lips (10 points)
~~Iggy: 25 points~~
- Crying on camera (25 points)
~~Jack Stone: 35 points~~
- Being selected to go on a one-on-one date (20 points)
- Dancing (5 points)
- Kissing the Bachelorette on the lips (10 points)
  - Note: he said he could see himself falling in love, not that he was falling in love. Ergo, no points!
~~Jonathan: 0 points~~
Josiah: 50 points
- Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
- Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
- Talking about his parents’ relationship (5 points)
- Kissing the Bachelorette on the lips (10 points)
Kenny: 115 points
- Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
- Being selected to go on a two-on-one date (30 points)
- Mentioning his kid (5 points)
- Crying on camera (25 points)
- Riding in a helicopter (10 points)
- Talking shit to the Bachelorette about another contestant in the house, by name (20 points)
Lee: 85 points
- Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
- Being selected to go on a two-on-one date (30 points)
- Riding in a helicopter (10 points)
- Talking shit to the Bachelorette about another contestant in the house, by name (20 points)
Matt: 40 points
- Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
- Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
- Giving the Bachelorette a gift (5 points)
Peter: 50 points
- Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
- Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
- Kissing the Bachelorette on the lips (10 points)
- Hot tubbing (5 points)
Will: 80 points
- Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
- Being selected to go on a group date (10 points)
- Kissing the Bachelorette on the lips (10 points)
- Getting the rose on a group date (35 points)

Did you know we’re on Twitter? We live-tweet every episode, often while drinking wine and yelling at the TV. It’s a good time. Come tweet with us!

P.S. You can sign up to get an email every time we post by entering your email address in the widget at the very bottom of the page.