It’s one week before Andi brings four dudes home to get that warm fuzzy welcome her dad, Hy, showed off last season. Luckies.
At the start of the week, Chris Harrison stops by the guys’ hotel room in Belgium to chat, and apparently he didn’t get the light scarf memo.
Nick takes Chris’s visit as a cue to mention, again, that he feels good about where he stands with Andi.
The first one-on-one date goes to Marcus.
Andi and Marcus’s date is boring, kind of like this whole show right now. They meander the streets of Ghent and nod their heads at people speaking French at them. In other old news, Marcus is in love with Andi.
Andi busts out the resting duck face/frown of doom while Marcus explains his daddy issues and opens up about tough times with mom too. Okay, I feel bad. Andi whips out her favorite compliment, calling Marcus “a man.” They swap spit near what looks like an old, brick fence.
Back at the hotel Josh gets the second one-on-one date.
Later that night, after Andi and Marcus have swapped enough spit to make a baby and said goodbye, Nick goes Bukowski on us and breaks the rules. Dude has had enough of his girl dating other dudes. He heads downstairs and asks the hotel receptionist for a key to his “wife’s hotel room,” never mind these cameras and the reservation you have for the six bros under “The Bachelorette.” But I mean, persistence is flattering, so whatevs. At least he’s giving us something to perk up about.
Andi looks pretty shocked to see Nick at her door. She mentions to the cameras that it feels a bit unfair, but then she goes with it. They go for a walk. Nick gushes. Andi listens. She calls their relationship passionate, so much so that they have to lean up against a tree while they kiss.
The next day Andi basically takes Gaston on the date she planned for Marcus: walking and eating about town, only this time they follow a flock of ducks. When in Ghent.
Josh sums up the date by calling it “literally phenomenal.” Cool it, double rainbow.
Just as I announce that if they have one more dinner in one more castle or other municipal building, I’m gonna fast forward to the blooper reel at the end (my favorite part of this damn show), they enter a damn castle.
Inside Andi is begging with her eyes–and mouth–for Josh to tell her that he loves her. Gaston finally drops the “falling in love with you” bomb and Andi puts on her best surprise face.
Cut to them dancing for way too long to a country song only they seem happy to be listening to. Good thing I got dis on the DVR. Ba-doop, ba-doop.
The group date is at a ruins site. Dylan attempts to wax poetic saying he hopes his and Andi’s love can withstand the test of time just like…the ruins?
To get to their date destination, the boys jump aboard a rail bike and pedal Andi to an Abbey, where kissing is banned. And Nick didn’t like group dates before!
It’s too bad too because there’s a bunch of things around to lean up against while making out.
Turns out the abbey also has crafts. Chris and Andi do pottery, if only to fulfill her helps-from-behind pottery man fantasy. I swear they sit down and decide which romcom stuff they’ll incorporate into each season before the show even begins. We’ll do pool lessons early on, horsebacking riding before hometowns, and seal the deal with hot air balloon ride over the grand canyon, straight into a wedding chapel.
Andi’s got a surprise for the group daters. She’s handing out the group date rose halfway through the date and the other guys will be dismissed thereafter. So, Brian changes his game plan after learning that whoever gets the rose on the group date gets to stay and have a mini one-on-one date with Andi. He tells her that’s he’s falling for her.
Then it’s Nick’s turn and he talks more about being certain he’s going to hometowns.
The guys look rull sad and scared when Andi picks up the rose that guarantees the hometown date. Nick gets it and he as happy as the other guys are pii-iissed.
As if leaving their archenemy to date their girlfriend isn’t bad enough, Chris, Brian and Dylan squeeze into the back seat of their ride home like three brothers in the back of the station wagon.
Andi has a fireworks show waiting for Nick.
Then shit goes down at the hotel. The other guys are at their wit’s end with Nick and his strategizing to win pep talks. When Nick gets home they are fired up, but no one says anything for a good while. Brian breaks the awkward silence and then the rest of the brochachos who aren’t Nick chime in. They reveal that Nick’s watched the entire past season to try to figure out the game, which I think gives us the first insight into what Nick behaviors rub these guys the wrong way. So far I’ve thought they were just doing a good job of creating drama out of thin air, like their ABC contract asks of them.
On the final night in Ghent, Nick continues with the jerk moves and interrupts Brian’s one-on-one date with Andi. Brian is too nice about it; he says nothing.
Next up, Nick bawls his eyes out in a confessional about how excited he is to bring Andi home to his friends and family, and it’s official: it’s Bukowski in a Nick suit.
Chris has one more thing to say before the rose ceremony, so he leads her outside, and it turns out it’s his tongue that does the talking.
Then it’s rose ceremony time.
It’s goodbye time for Brian and Dylan and neither of them take it well. All I want to do is hug Brian when he finds out he’s not going any further. Dylan mentions that the show doesn’t lend itself to guys like him that take a little longer to open up. These poor men. Why would anyone sign up for this show?
You all are frontrunners in my eyes,
K, J & B
